Dating your best friend

“You are my best friend as well as my lover, and I do not know which side of you I enjoy the most. I treasure each side, just as I have treasured our life together.” – The Notebook

Have you ever had a crush on your best friend? Feels super weird, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s your BEST friend we are talking about, not some random guy. You cannot go up to them and tell them how you feel because you are scared you might mess up everything you have. That moment when you realize that you have been completely captivated by your best friend: It’s such a wonderful feeling! Makes you feel so excited that you want to shout it out to the world.  Sadly, a lot of people fear getting into a relationship with their best friend. You’ve been with them since so long that it becomes hard to know what you feel. It takes a lot of courage to accept what you’re feeling for them – you have to be clear before you can approach them. And that’s why, such people end up being ‘friendzoned’ – Something hated by all guys and girls alike. No one wants to be friend zoned! It puts you in a really embarrassing situation as they already know what you feel, yet you can’t do anything about it.

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There are pros and cons of everything in life. There’s something good as well as something bad in dating your best friend. Since you’ve known them for a really long time, you both are really comfortable in front of each other. You can show up in your sweatpants, without any make up on and they will be okay with it. Such kind of comfort level is rare to find because you do not want to look like a hot mess on your dates. But your best friend has already accepted you for the way you are, and there is no need for you to go out of your way to impress them. You also know about all their secrets – That’s what best friends are for! All your secrets are safe with them.  You’ve probably told them everything that has happened to you. Exes, crushes, failed relationships etc. So they know what will work for you in a relationship and what wont. Spending so much time together with a person helps to know what’s on their mind – their likes and dislikes. You won’t ever have a bad time with them because they’ll know what it takes to make you happy and vice versa. You can always guess their mood even though they haven’t expressed it in words. Everything becomes as easy and effortless as breathing. Because you’re with your best friend the whole time! All your important moments in life, however enjoyable or difficult they might’ve been – they’ve been there for you the whole time to guide you and support you through tough times. And the best part of dating your best friend – they know each and every single thing about you! You don’t need to talk about your insecurities with an unknown person. It’s a beautiful experience to fall in love with your best friend and receiving the same kind of love back from them.

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However, like I said earlier, it has a down side to it too. Sometimes, when you become too dependent on your best friend, you tend to hide certain stuff. And if you haven’t told about those things to them while they were your best friend, chances are you won’t ever open up about these things even when you are dating. It might just create a rift in your relationship and make you feel distant from them. Also, sometimes you might start feeling conscious about yourself when you are with them. Sure, you do have a comfort level but then you start thinking about adjusting to their needs because of which you might start making changes to yourself. And they just might end up doing the same for you.

The worst thing about dating your best friend is when you have a big fight. They are your moral support. And you’ve fought with them. Who do you go to now? Sure, you have other friends too but you cannot bitch about your best friend to them! You end up feeling lonelier than ever.

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Everything that I’ve written above might not be true for everyone. Dating your best friend might just be the worst thing happened to you, but it could also be the start of something amazing. It might just be the best decision you’ve ever taken! That’s why, before marching down to them and confessing your feelings, think about what you truly feel. It’s not okay to mess up a strong bond of friendship just because you ‘thought’ that you two were made for each other. Give hints to them; try to introduce this topic very subtly – If their response is positive, you know what to do!

“When I met him, I would’ve never thought I’d end up like this, but as our friendship grew, I realized how much he meant to me. I love him and I love being in love with my best friend” – Unknown

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