It was morning time. My mother told me to read the holy book. I read it. The atmosphere at the home has always been religious. It was the impact of this atmosphere that I was religious since childhood. Many chants, religious and devotional songs, all were learnt by heart to me. Life had also seen many ups and downs and this had caused an immense desire to find him.
I belong to a family which practices Hinduism. All the rituals, all the chants and everything related to it, I used to do with complete reverence and devotion. I really didn’t know what these rituals or chants signify or mean? But I used to enjoy it while doing. I had spent my almost 20 years doing this, only to search that mysterious personality called God.
I used to tell myself a child of God and my love and devotion was also pure and true but sometimes when I used to get entangled and messed up with life’s dire situations and circumstances then at such times my urge to feel that supreme entity used to get enhanced and I used to feel as whatever I had been doing is vain and not actually connecting me with God. It might be a habit or social conditioning to worship the effigies of deities but I had certainly felt that connecting to him can’t be done only by worshiping him outside. Something more needed to be done.
Usually, we separate the religion and spirituality from our daily life. We think it is something to be done after retirement or completion of worldly affairs but as life shows us the difficult situations, we tend to think about that supreme power. Our search begins for him.
Mine too began this way. Life was full of favourable situations and happy moments but it can never be this way always. It took turn and suddenly, favourable situations changed into unfavourable. It was a low time in life. My heart was sinking in hopelessness and pain. People around me had also started to either cheat or leave me. The one and only strength remaining was that unclear one, whom I used to trust the most.
I had a Bhagavad Gita (A holy book in Hinduism) which I used to read but had never contemplated on. That night, when I was unable to sleep, I brought it out from the drawer. I had heard that I could find life’s every problem’s solution in this holy book and my search for answers had begun.
As we say God, various images emerge in the mind based on our experiences and beliefs. But do these images and beliefs match with that real supreme? Do we actually know him? Or we only live in illusion in the name of God? Various questions were rising in my mind. My sole aim was to find him out.
Though I knew the gist of Bhagavada gita but even then I read it again and started to contemplate over it. The most important illusion that it vanishes is our corporal body form. It clearly says that we all are souls and not the body. Body is material and soul is an eternal energy. We are the owners of this body. It operates according to our permission. We, the souls are pure and loving in its true nature.
I was contemplating on it. I started to ask myself that am I this body made up of flesh, blood and bones? Am I this perishable body, which can’t feel anything? This churning kept on going for a long time and answer came out automatically.
This holy book really contains every question’s answer. The realization that I was a soul and not the body led me to the answer for which I was searching.
I only had to shift my consciousness from body to soul. I had to accept myself as a soul and behave like it. This holy book also taught me the real qualities of a soul. Peace, love, compassion, purity, knowledge and power; these all are the inherent qualities of every soul. I started to meditate on these virtues and it started to glow from within.
After this realization, I felt that till now, why couldn’t I feel that supreme soul? Because my frequency wasn’t in sync with Him, I had read this holy book many times but had never tried to implement it in practical life but this experience just realized me my inner beauty and told me the way to him.
I sat quietly and kept on asking myself that how would that God be in real? What would be his qualities and personality traits? If he is our father, then how can he curse us? And if he is omnipresent then everything on this earth should be pure and beautiful. Many questions arose again and I got the answers too.
A silent mind gives us all the answers, which we sometimes call intuition.
And as I got the answers, it just lighted me with the blaze of knowledge. Answers, which were accepted and approved by the purity of heart, were truth for me.
Everyone believes at him and that too from their perspectives. It was my realization of him. That supreme power, who is adored by the whole world is not tangible. He can only be felt and experienced. The way we can’t touch love, we can’t touch God but yes, the way we feel love, in the same way we can feel the God. He is the ocean of love, unconditional love which can’t be provided by anyone to us in this world. He is a bunch of elevated personality traits and virtues. He is our father who never ever curses us. He only and only loves us because this is the only thing that he knows to do.
All the acquired myths and beliefs vanished as I realized this. It was the answer which was approved by my heart. I really felt that this was the way that supreme would be. An ocean of endless qualities and virtues, this is the real personality of him.
It was a day with him because it was the day when I realized that to connect with God, it is necessary to connect with the own. God is always there, blessing us with his aura of purity and love.