After anything and everything, a child always looks up towards his/her parents for love, support, understanding, warmth, security and a comfort. Imagine the plight of those children who haven’t been able to get all this from their parents, but in place of this, what they get is abuse- physical and verbal, emotional torture, anger, hatred, cruel words. The world just turns upside down for them, who are being threatened by the ones who bought them into this world. To deal with all this, be it a small child or a teenager, it’s not easy. Here is a list of 10 ways to deal with this:
- Be Aware and Know what’s going on
A lot many times, victims of abuse don’t even know what’s happening to them. A child, seems to think that the everyday shouting, beating for bad grades, putting unimaginable mental pressure, restrictions, all this comes with parents. NO. This is wrong, and the child needs to accept it. Unusual beatings and verbal abuses and soaring temperature, all this is wrong and any child needs to get away from it all.
- Talk to the sane parent
In most cases, both the parents are not abusers. It usually comes to the father, and the mother does nothing to protect the child, in fact, she might herself be victim of abuse because of her husband. Be it anyone, a child should talk to the parent who understands him/her, and describe what it feels like when he/she is being subjected to such abuse. Talk to the mother/father, whoever you feel like and take help, ask your sane, yes, abusers are not sane, parent to help you in this mess, you are their child after all.
- Talk to a relative
In case you receive no help from home, you need to talk to your relatives. They might help you out. Go to the person you trust, do not be afraid. Tell him/her about the condition at home, the extreme behaviour of your parent, and ask for help. Tell him about your fears, the mental torture you are going through, and any responsible person is bound to help you.
- Talk to friends or teachers
It often happens that the violent, terrifying parent at home who locks you up for not completing your homework will be perfectly normal in the company of people. Many a times, relatives do not believe a child because of this. For any person, emotional dependence on someone is necessary, and in such cases, a child often finds comfort in his/her friends or teachers. Talk to any friend you trust, share your experience. Keeping everything locked in will worsen a person and if you have a friend, who seems to be suffering badly through something, ask him/her. Friends are a great support, and especially when you are a teenager, the bond is very strong. Do not be afraid to talk to your teacher, tell them about whatever feels wrong to you about the behaviour of your parents.
- Do not be afraid
For children who are young, saying anything against their parents is wrong and they generally accept everything. But abuse can be very traumatic and can negatively affect a child’s growth and development. Do not be afraid to talk to someone regarding the problems you face. This is one of the best ways to protect yourself. Stay away from the parent who abuses you. Do not be sacred to answer back, and if you have a sibling, fight for him/her. Getting good grades is expected, but torturous behaviour to get those should not be accepted. Talk to the parent, try to explain them, find them reasons to believe that whatever is happening is wrong. Do not give up at any point of time.
- Contact help lines
There are various organisations, NGO’s, who help victims of child abuse. Before things become worse, contact them, tell them about your problems, they will definitely help. They have the legal permission to do this. When your parent might possibly harm you, go out and seek help. Look up on the internet , there is a lot of information about such organisations. Take the necessary step.
- Protect your mind and heart
For anyone, being subjected to abuse will be a very difficult thing. The worst part is that everything seems normal and after some days, one gets habituated. But at some point or the other, the child is not growing normally. All this can worsen his/her concentration at school, the mental health, the child might not be able to interact with anyone, might live in constant fear. If you are not getting help from outside for any reason whatsoever, or you are waiting to grow up, and move out, still do not let all this affect your mind. Read books, play games, go outside, make friends, do not be afraid of anything or live in constant fear, reply back, do not tolerate abuse. Do not let your future life be endangered because of all this. Never tolerate abuse.
- Don’t blame yourself
After being subjected to verbal abuses, blames, being told again and again that you are good for nothing, any child will start believing it. This is the worst case scenario where the child thinks that he/she deserves what the parent is doing. No, they don’t. There is no explanation or reason correct enough for the monstrous behaviour of certain parents. Do not give up on yourself that easily, do not believe that whatever is happening is correct and you deserve it. No. No child deserves this, especially from their parents.
- Ending your life won’t help either
Suicide seems to be the basic choice for any victim of abuse after he/ she has given up. In the past few years, the number of child suicides has risen rapidly. Children as young as 10 years are hanging themselves to death. But no, you don’t give up. Suicide is not a good option, nor is killing anyone. Think about all the other things in life that are waiting for you, your sibling who will be subjected to all this again, and don’t give up on life yet. Seek help, professionally. If you want a way out of this, fight and get it. Don’t end your life.
- Be strong and save yourself
Try to reason with your parent, tell them that what they are doing is not right, you don’t like it. Make them understand that they are abusing you. Talk to anyone who will understand you. At any point, if you feel like giving up and accepting things as it is, don’t. The going might be tough but have faith and save yourself, anyhow.