The When And How of Defining Love

“He must have a truly romantic nature, for he weeps when there is nothing at all to weep about.” – Oscar Wilde

When we talk about love, how many of us can actually define the feeling?  It’s not something which can be spoken about. It can only be felt.  In today’s times, there is a special day dedicated to celebrate love but do we really just need a single day out of the whole year to express our feelings for someone?  It isn’t just about a guy and a girl expressing love for each other. What about the love between a mother and her child? Or the bond between a  brother and his sister?


It’s so easy for people to say that they have been in love. But it is hard to express it in words.  The emotions that we feel are so surreal that even a thousand words aren’t able to define what we feel.  In yesteryears, however, people didn’t have cell phones to send sweet love messages, and couldn’t afford to buy chocolates or gifts for the one they loved. So how did their love prosper? It is because at that time love didn’t depend on gifts. Instead, they bared their hearts out and conveyed whatever they felt. And that is the truest form of love. Why do we have to define love in words, or by buying fancy and expensive things from multinational brands? If you don’t give a ring to your girl, then it means you’re not serious for her. Are you sure about that? A simple flower can do the trick. Ask any girl. Yes we love it when we are pampered with gifts but at the end of the day, all we care about is how much the guy respects us and cares for us.  Today, if you’re not walking hand in hand with your boyfriend or girlfriend, it is thought as if there is something wrong with them. But why is so necessary to show our love to the public? Everyone is so busy showing off their love to the world that they forget about the small joyful things. We all have seen those facebook pictures where a girl has written a very clichéd message for her boyfriend after completing a year with him. Imagine the time she must have spent doing that.  Getting a 100 likes, and they feel happy that the world has acknowledged their love. Life isn’t as perfect as we assume it to be. Who knows, maybe that couple had been fighting since the last 2 days? All this does is make others feel bad about themselves. Sure, so you love someone and you want to celebrate an occasion. Why not enjoy a quiet, romantic dinner at your place? Why does a picture on facebook has to do the work for you? If you really want to make it special, start an interesting conversation. Talk about your dreams, hope and your future with them. Let them know that you care for them and look into their eyes and say what you mean.  This can also be called romance, sans all the things that are superficial but ‘important’ according to the society.

The simple life when writing a love letter to your special someone was enough; there was nothing so complicated about love. As the times have progressed, we have given so many different and new meanings to this word. Love is associated not only with the pure feeling anymore, but with expressive clothes, jewellery, cards, chocolates et al. Modernism has completely changed the true meaning of love.  These days it is not just about the two people who are in love. The exes, friends, best friends, backbiters-everyone is involved. That is what makes such a pure emotion so complicated and difficult. Ask a teenager and he will tell you that he has been in ‘love’ at least 2 times. Do you really believe him? Kids fall in and out of love these days as if it’s nothing! There is no respect for something which is so divine and pristine. For kids today it has become a word which they loosely throw around. If you even have a liking for someone, you pretend as if it’s love. Liking someone and loving someone are two completely different things!  But everyone seems to confuse these two.  What will happen when you actually fall for someone? How will you differentiate that feeling from all the things you have felt in the past? It would have become so normal to fall in and out of love that when that special someone comes in your life, you might just brush it aside thinking you’ve already felt this way so many times in the past and this one will be no different.  You do not need to put a tag to what you feel for someone. Time itself will let you know what it actually is. We are always in such a rush to tell the world that we’ve found ‘the one’ that we start believing in it too. And then there’s no looking back once you have defined your love for someone.

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