Oscar Wilde once wrote, “Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.”
It’s a small quote with the deepest meaning hidden in it. You come across a lot of instances in life where you look around only to find people who are better than you. Some are nearly perfect. And then you look at yourself. And you see nothing but flaws and wonder why you had to be this way. It’s not that you hate yourself; you just don’t like yourself as much. And then there are those days that you spend only wailing about the kind of life you live. You just wish that everything in your life for once could fall into perfectly right places and that your life could be as happening as others’.
But does this do any good at all? Thinking of the ‘could have been’ and ‘should have been’ will only leave you in a dirty hole called self-pity. And trust me that’s the last place one would ever want to be at. It’s normal to look at people around you and think of how different their life from yours is. And it’s human tendency to feel that the things we don’t have are the things that we need. The grass on the other side is always greener after all!
You begin to think that people will like you more if you were better than who you are or if you would do the things that they expect of you. But somehow you fail to understand that everyone is always going to have a different image of you in their head, and everything that they expect of you is going to be based on ‘their’ assumptions and impressions of who you are. But does that mean that you have to conform to their ideas of who you are and behave accordingly. Why can’t people politely say, “Sorry, that’s just not me”?
In the desire of being liked and accepted more by fellow mates, a lot of people forcefully bring in drastic changes in their personality. But do you really expect people to accept someone who can’t even respect who he himself is?
In this ages-old society where people thing they belong; I think we are all a little displaced. We don’t really belong; we are all just trying to fit in, which is okay to a certain extent. But fitting in at the cost of losing our originality only to ‘belong’ is not really worth it. If you have to try to belong somewhere then it means you are just not in the right place with the right people. We all have a kind. And some or the other day we find our own kind and we just belong. There is no trying, no insecurity anymore; just a sense of belongingness. But people have this habit of moulding their personality according to the circumstances and people that they come across. And in this process of constant changing they gradually lose that root of originality that sets them apart from everybody else.
Why is it so hard for people to accept who they are? You just have to accept the fact that we are all just different from one another. None of us can ever be the same. Who we are should never be defined by what people think of us or what they want us to be. That reminds me of another beautiful quote.
Ralph Emerson once said, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
So what if you are a little broken and endlessly flawed? That’s a part of who you are; that’s how you are supposed to be. And there is always a lot more to you than your flaws and weaknesses. You are actually better than you think you can be, and you are lovelier in a way that no one else can ever be.
Begin to believe that you are more than your past mistakes; you are more than the custom made image in everybody else’s head. All you have to do is accept yourself the way you are. A lot of times you think of being much prettier, smarter; you think that you aren’t good enough and you want to change because you think that will make you more acceptable. Honestly, developing and changing yourself is a good thing when done for all the right reasons. But changing yourself for anybody else just shows how less you value your own self.
At the end of the day we all want to be loved. But only when you love yourself will you be able to find people who will love you for everything that you are and would hate to see even the tiniest thing about you change. You are stitched together with all these little things that only you have as an individual. Don’t give up on them. You are stitched and glued and patched and that is why you make a wonderful piece of artwork in yourself. All you have to do is be yourself.
Because they told me I could be anything, so I chose to be me.