This has been a topic of discussion for long enough and I think it will remain so for ages to come. Can a boy and a girl really be best friends and nothing more than ‘just friends’? Some would say yes they can. Having a best friend from the opposite sex isn’t impossible and it doesn’t mean that there always will be a love angle between the two of them. While some would say that there might not be a love angle initially but sooner or later the cupid does its work and one falls for the other one, thus complicating everything between them and creating awkwardness for other people around them too. Having your best friend fallen in love with you may not look like the most favorable of situations to be in on this planet. It leads to increased expectations, possessiveness and jealousy and puts the person on the other side in a really ugly place. They can’t say yes because they don’t love you the way you want them to, however saying no will risk losing the friendship.
But what happens when the best friend you have fallen in love with decides to love you back? What it will be like when they start reciprocating your feelings and look at you like you are magic? Sounds beautiful, isn’t it? Trust me it feels that way too.
“Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of children, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love. And if you’re lucky, if you’re the luckiest person on this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back.”
~ One Tree Hill
Three years ago something like this happened to me. I used to have an amazing friend in 10th grade who pretty soon become my best friend. We used to have crazy fun together at school and deep heart to heart conversations over the phone. It was a bond which survived 2 years of no seeing each other and months of not talking to each other and the next time when we would talk still it would feel like we have been with each other since always. Then on one fine day, fine, fateful and portentous day, he proposed to me. Completely out of the blue, candid and blunt, “Would you be my girlfriend?” Stunned I was, he must be out of his mind to ask me such a question. Having a guy like him (he is smart, funny, decent, adorable, loving, caring etc. etc.!) propose to me was pretty legit, but damn! I never thought about him like that. Hello! What were you thinking dude?! We were ‘just friends’ after all. Anyways, willing to give ‘us’ a chance I said “Let’s try it out”. And the rest has been a love story!
We often think that we know our friends reasonably well. Especially a best friend, I mean yes we have spent so much time together, seen them laugh out loud as well as crying like a baby. We have been each other’s partner in crime and also the biggest support. We know their likes-dislikes, their dreams, their passions, and pretty much their thought process too. But you never know how romantic or passionate of a lover they can be until you fall in love with them. It’s only when you fall for them you begin to discover a whole new personality that you never knew existed. The friendly pranks are changed to tender gestures, the teasing and name calling is changed to adoring each other’s whimsical sides. But that doesn’t mean the fun and playfulness of a friendship is lost. In fact it’s a best of both worlds.
The person you feel the closest to, can share your darkest of secrets with, be spontaneous and stupid with and the person you love, you admire and want to spend your life with is all swaddled in one person.
I’m a total believer in relationships that start off with friendships. For they often happen to be the most sincere ones. When you meet somebody with an intention of dating them, consciously or unwittingly you are trying to impress them. And impressing comes along with fabricating and masquerading. Both of you somewhere tend to fail showing your true selves to each other. While with friends there isn’t any need to impress and make the other one fall in love with you. And when it happens on its own, it happens the best way.
There will be a lot of people you will meet and a lot of blogs you will read who will tell you to never let love come in between friendship. And how this love complicates everything. But that’s not true every time. It’s not love that complicates life but other million things that we attach with it. For love conquers all and only if you decide to give a contingency of making you fall in love with them to somebody, you realize how beautiful life can get. We cannot plan or choose who we fall in love with but we can give a chance to those who have fallen in love with us. Give a chance to the person who has been there all the time and who plans to be there for the rest of your life, to love you and to adore you.