Falling in Love is easy but, staying in it?

love

From the title you must be thinking about how another woman is ranting about her relationship and how she would want it to be or you are a singleton sick of reading love stories that make you sick to your stomach or you probably just found it relatable and thought of having a light read. Be it any of those, when you are in love, the world just seems so much better and colourful. Remembering little things about your other half, spending quality time and showing how much you care for them. Love is the sole reason probably why the human was born. The amalgamation of different components of nature coming together for the formation of a new life. Yes I know I have a hippy-like sense of thinking, but that is how I like to think of it as. It binds all your wounds back together. Some have found it and some are still looking for it. Each one of us has had a relationship at some point in our lives, unlike playboy’s/playgirl’s, they are pure shmucks who do not understand the meaning of the four lettered word. But apart from that, when you are in love with an individual, you are making a commitment to that person, giving them your time and little bit of yourself. Falling in love is just not about spending time and doing things together and sex but also understanding, being there for each other through thick and thin.

A relationship can be classified into 3 stages:

1. The honeymoon phase

2. Accepting the truth phase

3. This is really it phase.

At first the when you find someone attractive everything about them seems all fairytale like and you cannot stop dreaming about that person, when you decide to open up and confess with all your courage to find out that they too can reciprocate your feelings you feel on top of the world! Its common, at the starting stages you are just getting to know the person everything seems new and interesting. And you feel like this is the man/woman I want to spend the rest of my life with at that moment, like a song you hear you love it the first few times but then, yes then, starts the trouble. After a while you start getting annoyed and ahoy let the fights begin! This second phase is when you have to start accepting the other for the way they are and it’s quite a tough phase to crack through. Most of us just give up because you are not willing to get out of your comfort zone which leads you to losing them. If you do pass this phase then well, feel proud of yourself that you made it through.  You know how to adjust and make things work then. Which most would tend to just let it be and then crib about how they should have made things work then. If you have something that is bothering you about them just make it point you say it to them, why suffer in silence?

That’s on how you begin. Now a little something on how you can make your relationship last longer.

First and foremost: Be yourself and let them be.

Lots of people when in a relationship try to mould the other by trying to make them like themselves. Imposing their views and scrutinizing their every move, from what clothes to wear to how they should behave when they are with or without them. If you do that, GROW UP AND GET OUT. Accept the other person for who they are rather than trying to change them. You fell in love with them for how they were and not how you imagine them to be. People change over the course of time but the will to stay and make it work, from both ends, is what makes a relationship strong.

Secondly, let go of your ego, say SORRY.

You have a huge tiff about the other person talking to a guy/girl from their workplace or just randomly or maybe how you didn’t put the toilet seat down (ha ha you men need to learn to do that and we will make sure our makeup stuff is off the counter) or talking to an ex-flame. We tend to say things in anger or impulsively to get things out of the other person which can be “relationship threatening”. Fights are essential I would say in a relationship, when they go to a point of no-return is when things get ugly. Make sure you try to understand where and why the person is acting in such a way, LEARN THE WHOLE TRUTH AND THEN SPEAK. Putting false accusations is even more irritating! Psychologists say using the term “we” when addressing an issue makes the storm to come a little bit less violently. Like, “we need to make more time” or “we need to have this done ASAP” makes it easier for you to communicate rather than saying “you or I”. Know when you have crossed your limit and apologise. If you don’t then you face the consequences. It’s okay to let your guard down in front of your loved one. Try it, and see the results for yourself.

Thirdly, BE HONEST.

You got into this relationship by your own choice and it wasn’t forced on you so might as well give your all to it. Not saying a 100% but you can try to give it 75% at least. I mean you need to think of yourself and the other half too, your happiness matters as much as theirs. By being honest I am not saying giving every single detail of your actions/words/thoughts no. if you find yourself in a relationship where you are constantly questioned about your whereabouts, let them know you need some space and they need to learn to trust you. Like we said earlier, speak up. By being honest, you wouldn’t have to worry about telling lies, some lies are meant to be told, but it is up to you to distinguish which ones to say and which not to. Somewhere you will feel good about yourself and feel happy in your relationship

That is all I would have to say into keeping your flame alive. If you are in love, make sure you let them know you love them from all your heart.

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