“They didn’t agree on much. In fact, they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. But despite their differences, they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other.”- Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook
Yes, I’m a Nicholas Sparks fan. Blame it on all the pretty things he writes. I was watching bits and pieces of The Notebook and weeping like a 5 year old. I think I’ve lectured always people about how realistic they should about relationships and their expectations from their respective partners. Now when I come to think of it, its so hard to be rational about something as crazy as love. How do you limit your expectations exactly? You can probably learn to tell yourself that there is no point expecting something because it won’t translate into reality but somewhere deep down you’re still rooting for it, that’s most certainly beyond your control. You’ll go over it in your head time and again despite of reminding your sane self that the probability of something like that happening is negligible. You needn’t even be in love to have these expectations. We want that larger than life kind of a love story that people talk about. I wouldn’t say fairy tales exactly because that’d be far too ideal and unrealistic. But we all want our happy endings. A happy ending to a story would be more like a story with no end.
But sometimes people who stay in our lives for a relatively shorter period also leave us with a lot of memories, the kinds you’d love to relive again. After the exit of every significant person in our lives, we change a little. Everybody leaves a little bit of themselves with you once they leave. Similarly, you also keep losing yourself in bits and pieces to those people. Its only circumstances that can change how you feel about something or someone. There’s a kind of emotional imbalance you experience after the departure of any important person from your life, because you become dependent on them for something or the other. But the way I see it, someone has to leave to make space for someone better. You cannot keep everyone, because you have the same 24 hours in a day and its best that most of that time is only spent on people who are worth it. Everyone doesn’t deserve the kind of wonderfulness you have to offer. You find your forever in people you have the most minimalistic expectations from. People you randomly bump into in Coffee Shops and movie theatres. And they make the best stories. Because they’re not planned well in advance. Going by my favourite Grey’s Anatomy’s quotes “The expected is just the beginning; it’s the unexpected that changes our lives forever”. Plus who doesn’t like filmy love stories? No harm in wishing for one right?
There is a reason behind DDLJ still running in some theatres you know. Now about making sense of these things, well you can’t. Not if you’re really into it. We’ve got the rest of our lives to be mature and sensible about these things. So anyone who tells you that its okay to not surprise each other from time to time, holding hands is too mushy and PDA is gross, they’re too old for you, and their advice can literally take the hell’s route. You can sense love in little gestures too, but wouldn’t you like a little pampering? A little over the top, I want to let the world know I’m in love sort of love. Wouldn’t you want your guy to show you off in front of his friends? You can deny all you want and loathe couples in public places all the time, but somewhere deep down you envy them. Speaking for myself, I really do. Whenever I see a couple at a metro station or on the streets having a good time, my first reaction is, why won’t they get a room? And that reaction is something common to most of us who are apparently celebrating singledom. And Even though we detest these couples, we voluntarily keep staring at them and constantly comment too. Ironic, isn’t it? Secretly, we all wish our life was a Nicholas Sparks book, barring all the tragedies obviously. And since we’ve all lost hope of discovering that train to Hogwarts by now, love is the only path to finding some magic in our ordinary lives. Being single has its own perks too, I wouldn’t contravene that. You have a lot of time to yourself; you don’t feel responsible for someone else. You life’s a lot less chaotic, and has much less drama; you don’t have to worry about any space issues etc. The gist of it is that life’s basically easier when you’re single. But when you’d rather be in a mess with someone than be at peace all alone, you’d learn to find bliss in that mess too. You need the sparks of love to light up your life. So whenever you find that someone who you can handover the power to effectively destroy you, and yet you know that they wouldn’t, hold on to them, you’ll never know how far it’ll take you. But I assure you, its going to be one hell of a journey.