The touch of his fingers on your skin. The goose bumps you feel tingling your body. The feeling of pure adoration when he rests his eyes on you. That electric current that goes through your body when you try to stare back and you feel your face going warm and pink, and before you realize it, you’re blushing. You’re trying to avoid his gaze, yet you can’t help but try to look back and feel that adrenaline rush as he moves in closer and you feel the warmth of his face so close to yours and you realize your breath is entangling with his, heating up your surroundings.
You suddenly wake up, your body heated up, perhaps even small beads of sweat forming on your forehead. You realize, how terribly you miss him, how much you miss that tenderness with which he felt you, loved you, made you feel like the most beautiful woman on this planet, made you feel special, like his only one.
It’s been a while, you realize. Been a while since you felt the love, since you felt the rush for wanting more. Since you both were so magically entwined as one.
Right now, at this very moment, I bet you’re thinking of that one person who made your life such a realistic fairytale. You realize, you want those moments back. You want those memories back. You want his touch back. The gentle loving he instills in you, the calmness he brings about with him, as you sink into sweet oblivion in his arms, and you realize, you miss it all.
It makes you smile as you think of all those instances when he made your heart skip a beat or when he made your heart run so fast, and you realize that those instances were every single day of your life. You realize how happy you are with him, and now you want him next to you even more.
Whenever he held you close, when he breathes in your ear, when he tickles you slightly, when he just makes you feel like the luckiest girl ever, you try to garner all those memories together as you sit thinking about him. I’m still on my bed, thinking of him next to me, remembering how he sleeps like a baby, the pinkness around his nose, the fairness of his skin shining brighter as the sunlight fell on him in the mornings. You know how you sometimes have those days when you just want him to come back and just be with you, when all you need is his time and his attention. When you just want him to pamper you and just be there.
That gentle caress, the sweet nothings he whispers in your ear, I can keep going on and just continue imagining the love that he fills up in the atmosphere around you, as he literally sweeps you off your feet.
There are times when you know that you want to feel that loving from him. You want to fill the air around you with that passionate love. You know, people judge this thinking at times, they might tag you as a certain term, but that doesn’t mean it’s true. There are alot of people who won’t indulge that freely in satisfying this basic human need of theirs because of the societal thinking around them. But, it’s okay; you know it is. You know that the bond and the passion you and your special someone share, should not get affected by the negative thinking that fills the air around you. It’s your love, your bond, your being together that should matter. That is how you like to express yourself, it’s how you want to be with your love. It’s a feeling that remains between you both, and it shouldn’t be something you shy away from.
I am still craving for him.
I need to clear my head of all this. I won’t be able to concentrate on anything else the entire day. I need to get my work done. I feel like a high school girl with a crush who finally asked her out. I feel like he is my new found love, when he isn’t. He’s the same, we’re the same, but the love has grown. There is something different about today, I feel. Something unique. Something magical. I just can’t place my finger on what exactly, but it’s there. I feel that love, I feel that magic, but I want to feel it with him. When will he be back?
I want that magical moment he and I share, back.
I checked the clock. Another hour. 5 more to go before he gets back from work. 5. How will I get through this day, I groan shuffling my feet into my slippers. I brewed myself a cup of coffee, all ready to give the day another shot and do something productive instead of just whiling away my time, dreaming about him.
Another 5 minutes went by.
I feel I’m on the verge of giving up. I can’t get through this day. I feel sappy. Ew. I never thought such a day would come. I guess I should go out. Meet friends. Perhaps pick up the laundry. I jumped into the shower and my thoughts went back to those various mornings when we showered together, and of course, how we ran late for work after that. Mornings like these felt empty, when you know that he could have been there, but he isn’t just because of an early morning meeting. Sigh. Just another one of those days I guess. All I could do was wait.
Sometimes, no actually most of the time, the wait is worth it. Oh it is so worth it. The heated atmosphere around us, nothing can replace that. That rush of breathlessness, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about. You know you want it. Everyone wants it, whether secretly or not, but everyone does. I do. He makes it worth it, very satisfyingly, worth it.
I got out, and started to dry myself off when suddenly I felt these two arms grab me. I wasn’t scared. I recognized that familiar touch, that scent tingling my nose, and I couldn’t help but smile. All those torturous feelings of the entire morning, everything came rushing back to me as I turned around and sank into the depth of his eyes as he whispered, “I missed you. There is something about today that’s just dragged me back to you.”