The girl who moved on

Sometimes you expect so much out of people because you’re willing to do that much for them, or maybe more. Isn’t this so true? You’d go to any lengths to keep them happy and you’ve learnt to be okay with all the pain they cause you because the thought of not having them feels so absurd. You know it’s really funny how you see yourself when you’re in love and once you’re out of it. It’s like seeing two different people in the mirror. One, very vulnerable and fragile, a little lost maybe but too happy to see what’s happening to them. And other when you’re strong, in control of yourself but always hiding a ton of pain behind the smile and confidence you’re carrying. Being strong is really hard you know, it might just be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. And I don’t believe that you ever start feeling any less pain or you feel differently. No, that doesn’t happen. You just derive mechanisms to deal with the pain, it’s like you know what procedure you have to follow each time something happens. But that doesn’t make it any easier does it? You’re still that girl who was irrevocably in love with a guy who moved on with his life without you.

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He may have lied to you, he may have cheated, he may have just outgrown the relationship, people don’t fall short of reasons to leave, but they often forget what got them so far. That’s the tragedy we’re all living. You don’t have to be that girl who smiles through the pain and carries the weight of everyone’s issues on her feeble shoulders. Nobody’s going to come to your rescue, you have to be your own hero. And I know that doesn’t sound pleasant or very optimistic, but it’s the truth. You’re the girl who has made it through every hurdle of her life alone, you’ve conquered all challenges life ever threw at you. Just because you cry yourself to sleep sometimes doesn’t mean you’re weak. You’re the girl who has known pain, and you know the worth of a smile so you try to put it on everyone’s face every once in a while. You don’t fear rejection or hurt, you know it’s inevitable, you’ve seen it and you’ve dealt with it on your own. And you’re perfectly capable of accepting that you’re still just as likely to feel the same love and the same pain again. You don’t shut yourself down when something goes wrong, you stand tall in the face of difficulty and you never take a step back. You let it break you a little bit and then you put all the pieces back together and wake up the next morning, dress to the occasion and go to work like nothing happened.

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You do what you’re best at, be strong and be you. The wonderful piece of art that god has made you, you live up to it and you never disappoint. You don’t even know what an inspiration you are, to every girl out there who is living in hope of someone to come save them. You’re the girl who saved herself. You didn’t change, you didn’t turn to stone. You kept your heart just as wide open as it has always been, open to feeling every emotion there is; love, pain, happiness, humility, compassion. You’re resolute in your beliefs, you’re admirably compassionate and you exude warmth that only people who’ve been around you have experienced and can vouch for is completely unadulterated. It’s not that you never think of him again, you reminisce about the summer you spent with him, feeling his presence everywhere all the time. The shadows of the past follow you around just like they do for everyone else. Pain knows no bias, and sometimes its so intense it’s almost as if someone physically hurt you, it becomes that literal. But you don’t allow your past to haunt you. You embrace it like you’ve embraced all the better things in life, you don’t cling to it and you don’t let it consume you.

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Acceptance is the key to happiness, isn’t it? You don’t hate them for what happened to you. Hating is so cumbersome and difficult anyway, and so negative yet so powerful that it eats you up on the inside. And again, there’s no greater agony than feeling something like that about someone you were once ready to devote everything you had to, your entire life, everything that you’ve ever pictured with them did turn to dust. Isn’t that hard enough to live with? Hating is difficult and exhausting, and mostly because it drains out all the good energy you have. You’re not the girl who lost her mind over a guy. Don’t ever underestimate yourself or be any less proud of who you are. You probably have no idea as to how many people there are in the world who’d kill for the strength you hold within you, and so many other people who practically cannot function without you. You’re your own hero, and that’s just about as happy as an ending gets. You’ll not sit at the porch and wait for your prince charming to drop by because well, you don’t need him. If he comes along, well and good but you’re not depending on it because you’re better than that. You don’t need a guy to save you because you aren’t running away. Not this time, never again. You’re the girl that moved on.

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