This is me-the girl

20th may 1994:

I am a fully fledged embryo now. I am feeling safe in my mother’s care. No wait! Doctor is recommending abortion to papa. Why? They tested my gender and I am a girl…

17th June 2000:

I also want to play with other children in the school. But my grandmother told me not to go out as I might be the laughing stock of the village. How will anyone be affected by my presence? Or is it because I am a girl…

15th May 2012:

Father was congratulated by one and all. I was getting a pat on my back for bagging the top scorer position in my state. All my friends were in a merry making but I guess there was some tension in my father’s mind. There were marks of tresses in his forehead. He was afraid of breaking the traditional rules of sending me far for studies. Why? I was the root cause of all problems because I am a girl…

4th August 2012:

I was in the seventh sky for getting admission in the top college. I would be able to live freely in the hostel, new city, new college, new life, new friends and new environment. I was feeling giddy and for a second I forgot that I was a girl. In the first bus ride about which I was so excited brought me back to my senses. He was passing some lewd comments on me and even tried to push me several times. I was too dumbfounded to react. Never in my life, had I experienced this. While trying to survive in this male dominated world, I made a crime that I am a girl…

!8th July 2017:

It has been few months since I got this new job; I was overjoyed watching my dreams come true. Now my parents even support me in my endeavor. But today something happened which shattered my dreams. I even thought not to put my feet again in that office. Why? I am a girl… I was molested by my boss.

Is this the 21st century which I live in? Is this the society I thought to pave my way towards my goal? Is this the mindset of people which boasts of equality in every field? Is this the independence girls get after so many years of democracy? Why that is everyone wears that invisible cloak while girls are being shown the dreadful facet of men?

When I was an embryo and was almost getting ready to be murdered, my mother saved me. When I wanted to go to school or for higher education, my teacher was the one who instilled faith in my parent’s mind for me. During travel in bus, I was consoled by my friends and told to keep quiet and not create a scene. But here, who is there to save me, care for me? And by the way why is that I should live with fear bearing the wrath of the society? I am also a creation of God. I should live the same way others are living. I should face the same challenges as them. They have no right to erode of my privacy.

girl alone

I am a girl not a senseless property to be left at the whims of this society. I was continuously thrown at the perils of being destroyed by every ounce of ghastly creatures. We are always shown the door when we asked for anything. We were always silenced when we tried to resist anything. We reluctantly followed every word of this society without any questions just for the sake of so called pride and respect of our family. We followed every norms of the society but when it comes to my safety and well being, I am left alone. It was all burdened on me as if I had no other problems to face. From the first day when I investigated to be a girl to the day till I die, I am relentlessly killed by the society’s mindset thousand times. During my adolescence, I am not allowed to roam outside and come home before the sunset. On my special days, I am treated as I am a witch who is not allowed to have proper food even. During my years blossoming to adulthood, I am pounced upon by the grimy eyes of monster like people. I pretend to not see the evil facets of theirs and move along my path. But inside me, I know there is always a sword swinging on my head but I had no idea that there is actually no ray of hope at the end of the dark tunnel. Someday or the other, I have to face them and confined within the four walls of my house. I guess this is the day I always feared about.

But how long can I shut down myself and not follow my dreams? How long will I remain tight lipped about this? I am the modern girl. I am the one who has to bring the change. I am not so weak and fragile that I will be broken down so easily. I will fight back and get back my own respect and pride. I have faced so much problems and this is just a bad phase which has to blown away. And one day I can live the life I dreamt about. This is me, the girl…

girl enjoying in rain

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