A lot of people spend a major portion of their life living in an irrational fear, of not being enough. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not popular enough or not successful enough. There is always this bubble of apprehension which lives on the back of their mind and is often a reason for distress and a low confidence and self-esteem. Don’t be upset I am also in the club. Being liked and appreciated by other people is what we all want. If people will like our personality and our attitude then they will want to be friends with us, to hang out with us. But what if they don’t find me good enough? What if I go at a party and I don’t look pretty enough? Or if I join a new group of people and they don’t think I’m cool enough to be friends with them. Or maybe the interviewer at the job interview I am going for doesn’t think I am smart enough for them to hire. Wouldn’t that be a complete nightmare?
Well, I don’t think I need to tell you that why this thinking is so unreasonable and absurd. We already know it don’t we? Yet we can’t help ourselves to feel this way and keep underestimating ourselves. Most of the times, in an effort to be enough, we forget to focus on our real strengths and our true worth. Instead we start living in a weird mortification which actually just exists inside our head. But how to get over this and start believing in yourself?
Well, the first step is to ease your brain from that ever pinging question of “are you good enough?” And in order to find answer to that big quest for life you have to try yourself. Unless you go out and meet new people and spend time with them you cannot make assumptions that they will not like you. Unless you go and give your best shot at that interview you can never know whether you are smart enough. Maybe you are as good as they want you to be or maybe you are far better than that. So drop your inhibitions and go out there!
Accept the shortcomings and work on them
When you put yourself for judgement there is also a huge possibility that you do lack somewhere, you are a human after all, and humans have flaws and shortcomings. You might actually not get that job you have been thinking about because you were not upto the mark or because there was somebody who was more deserving than you. But then you cannot spend your whole life trying to be the best. Sometimes you got to do your own thing, work on yourself wherever it is needed and you will see yourself getting surrounded by the right kind of people and the right opportunities knocking your door without you being too worried about it. But if you set the bars way too high for you to achieve then there is a problem with that.
Perfection is a Myth
There is always some scope for improvement. True. One should keep trying and working towards being better at something or being a better person in general. True. But you cannot just keep running towards perfection without realizing that it is actually unachievable. Being too harsh to yourself because you don’t think you are good enough is not healthy and recommended at all. While focusing on progress rather than on perfection is what will help you through.
The feeling of not being good enough often crops up in our mind when we are comparing ourselves to somebody else. When we look at them or at the things that they have which we don’t, we sink a little inside. Feelings of jealousy, competency and feebleness come along with it. If that competency helps you in working hard and being a better version of yourself then it’s a great deal but if it is crushing your confidence then get away with these self depreciating thoughts as soon as you can. And then the person you are comparing too must also be comparing themselves to somebody else, somebody even better. And that’s the truth one has to deal with, there always will be somebody better.
“Someone will always be prettier. Someone will always be smarter. Someone will always be younger. But they will never be you. You are unique and without you, the puzzle of this world could never be completed.”
You are one of a kind and I think it’s good enough!
Believe in yourself
“Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.”
Unless you are a murderer of course, where in that case You suck! Anyway you might not feel like you are working to your full potential or you are currently being the best version of yourself but still there is more right with you than wrong. There are people out there who love you and appreciate you for being the way you are. And at least for their sake, you got to start loving yourself too. So give some rest to that inner critic and do not let your insecurities tear apart your self-esteem. Don’t forget about all the wonderful and unique things you have that set you apart from anybody on the face of earth. And always remember, you are good enough.