When I asked some of my friends as to what gives them happiness, I got replies which made me smile, laugh, stay confused or just put up a straight face. One said its all about eating a big bar of chocolate all alone, in a dark room. Some said its about having great friends who treat them almost everyday. Some asked me to stop asking such boring questions and asked me to move on with my business. One friend said, its all about getting good grades and passing out of college with a decent grade point average. I raised my brows. Another friend of mine said, it about never facing dejection and failure in life.
I had to give the last two some thought and analyze if they were right in whatever they said. They may be right in their own ways. Their backgrounds or past may have made them come up with such answers. But, is it the ultimatum for happiness in life? My mother is so proud and happy of how she faced failure and dejection in life, to mold her daughters into fine human beings. But I am surprised to see how our generation is so scared to face dejection.
Let us analyze what dejection is. I have a friend who has a dark skin tone and is fat and who is made fun of anyone and everyone in my college. I took an hour to go, sit and talk to her about her problems. She was not good at English but she was one of the best Tamil speakers I had ever seen. She was born to a father who is dark and a mother who has leucoderma. She also has a brother who was illegitimately born to her mother. Her mother hasn’t told her that she has a particular skin disease which makes her look white in color and her dad hasn’t told her that being dark is a good thing. But they never failed to make fun of her appearance and to tell her that no one would marry her if she remained this fat and dark girl. She still thinks its possible to become fair by getting treated somewhere abroad. While seeing only her negatives, she failed to realize what a good actor she was. She was made to believe that life ends when a guy says you aren’t beautiful. That’s when I brought some of her own friends and advised them to appreciate her hidden talents and encourage her to get better at what she had in hand. Today, she writes poems, dresses up like a lady ignoring her skin tone and acts in college plays.
At 19 or 20, we are pushed into a hole where our mind focuses on shallow desires like grades, relationships, beauty and wealth. There is much more to life. I call it by a single word, “contentment”. You can never be a happy man if you aren’t content with what you have in hand. You may not be the richest; even if you are the richest, you may not be the prettiest; even if you have both those qualities, you may not be the wisest.
It sure wont take much of your anything to pat your friend’s shoulder to tell him/her that he/she has a good heart. Always take some time off to love people by putting their looks, wealth and their relationship with you, behind. At the same time, do not over do anything in a relationship which might mar it.
In every relationship you share with a person be it your spouse or your lover or your mother or your father, keep them happy in as simple ways as possible. When you think of details and complex ways to show your love, you might just forget the simple ones within your reach. And the intricacy may spoil it once for all. Broken relationships play a huge role in clogging our mind with depressing thoughts. A broken relationship excavates a part of our mind and pushes us to very bad extents. Learning to handle them solves every bit of the problem. If you just broke up with your boyfriend, take it with a smile. You might have been way too good for him and God’s signaling that he has reserved a prince for you. If your parents aren’t happy with your academic performance, its not that they are going to let you fall. They will still be the two ultimate pillars in your life. They are just trying hard to make you stronger and better for, you need to be a pillar of support someday, to someone. And always have a bunch of friends who will support you, make fun of you, trash you and still hug you on your birthday to tell you “Where’s the treat?”. Life is a mixture of all emotions. Its up to you to make a perfect dish out of every single ingredient available.
Life is a machine. You are the mechanic. Happiness is a tool that takes you higher and higher everyday and love is the fuel that is added to the machine for its smooth functioning. Keep it low. Keep it simple. You might soon launch your machine as a satellite. Humility, happiness and honesty lead to harmony.