While living my early teenage years I used to be pretty fascinated with a book called “Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul”. No it wasn’t a cookery book offering chicken soup recipes but it contained some stories and poems beautifully describing each and every emotion of a teenager. Somewhere that book helped me in understanding that why am I feeling in a particular way. At other times it just assured me that I am not alone to feel like this. Anyway, there was this one particular poem “Please Listen” which remains as one of my favorites and I swear by each and every word which the author speaks. It started something like this, “When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving me advice, you have not done what I asked. When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.”
Listen, sometimes all we want the other person to do is listen. They do not need to find solutions for our problems as we are not helpless and can figure out things on our own. In fact sometimes there isn’t any problem at all, there are just few thoughts that the heart wants to speak up and lighten its weight. Speaking of myself, there are so many of logic less thoughts my brain ends up popping and I happen to ridicule other people around me by talking about those thoughts and feelings of mine but if you have a friend who can just listen then trust me you are blessed. No matter how irrational your feelings are, but having somebody to hear you out is what can keep you sane.
I think one of the most genuine conversations is the one where one speaks everything out and the other just listens. When there is no judgement passed, no agreements or disagreements made but a person who is all ears without saying a word is what we all need sometimes.
As a kid we all used to talk with our toys, Barbie dolls and action figures and even after we grow up we talk to our pets, some even talk to their plants! Well, obviously we are not expecting a reply out of any of these, though pets can keep up amazing conversations but the real reason is that we just want somebody to listen to us without criticizing or encouraging our thoughts. When you see a friend being all depressed and given up on the idea of happiness just walk to them and listen what all they have to say. They might be having some serious problems at home, some financial troubles or arguments and fights with their spouse. You may feel clueless about how to lessen their grief or how to help them get out of their troubles but at such a time the least and yet the most significant thing you can do for them is listen to your friend and help them lighten their heart. You do not have to be ready with some expert advice on how to deal with his problems but all you need is a little patience and understanding. And only that can do more wonders than you know.
When I call you or text you it doesn’t mean I need your help or want you to do something for me. I do not need you to find solutions to my problems. I am not helpless after all. I might be a little messed up inside my head but I can be pretty independent at dealing with unfavorable situations on my own. But sometimes all I need is somebody to listen. A friend or a family member or even a stranger for that matter, but someone who will not pass judgments or make remarks over my situation. When I keep on talking endlessly for hours about something very stupid it isn’t because I am looking for an answer or trying to find a solution but it’s just because I want to speak. I guess that’s why I feel good while writing. I guess that’s why people pray. Because god may or may not answer the prayers but he always listens no matter what.
These days, people lay a lot of stress on speeches and presentations. It is a general viewpoint that unless you are a great speaker you will not be able to express yourself efficiently. But what about the good old listening? And trust me it is an art. But little does it require for you to master. All you need is patient ears and a silent mouth. It requires you to understand that it isn’t always needed for you to speak. A lot of times you just need to hear out. Don’t say, don’t ask and don’t answer. Just listen without speaking a word. Hear me out all I want to say, I may or may not make sense but I feel it so I say it and you have to listen. And trust me when you will need somebody to hear out I will be there to listen.