At that day I finally attained the apex of being hurt and emotionally injured. I was shattered and was crying like hell. I just kept on thinking that this relationship meant everything to me. I was always there when the person needed me. I always showered my love and showcased my mellow feelings but what I got in return was nothing more than a mirage. But that was it.
After the marathon of such gloomy and vicious thoughts for almost whole night, the sun eventually rose up to the window keeping a subtle yet grand surprise for the day. I was in a regular habit of going through the speaking tree column of news paper. I used to read and contemplate over it religiously and sincerely. It had always shown me a new light. Today’s section captivated me in its ‘true love’ quotes and it more or less compelled me to rethink and reformat my concept about true love.
“Love is not about gifts, roses or chocolates. It is that intangible energy that makes the soul as valuable as gifts, as beautiful as roses and as sweet as Chocolates.”
Lines seeped in the mind and started to work as drug itself. It made me to think and check the definition of love inside the operating system of my mind. A feeling that everyone on the earth and galaxy craves for, a language which is understood by even least intellectual creatures and plants . An energy which possesses competence to soften supreme deities and god too , how can this magical entity cause pain to mankind ? I asked to myself “how true love can shrink someone’s personality, when it is meant to expand new horizons of enlightenment?”
I went on to ponder and questions were arising like bubbles in the water. Fragile, instant and many in numbers but the dominant question that took over every other ones was “Is this love?” or just the illusion of love or something else? Am I feeling the best and elevated emotion of the universe? Is this feeling making me precious, beautiful and sweet like gifts, roses and chocolates respectively?
The question marks were on its highest rate. My unanswered mind took a different direction and moved to another quote.
“My love is a gift for you and I expect nothing in return, what you do with that gift is entirely up to you. I take each opportunity to decide who I am, in spite of finding out who am I in response to you. I prefer to grow in love rather than shrink in response.”
I read it many times to experience the depth and accuracy of the above said sentence. My sole aim was to deduce the gist of it. With open mind, I reflected on it devotedly. It brought me hints of my answers which could clarify the clouds and reveal the nectar of clarity.
Love is that gift which has to be given without a single trace of expectation. It is a gift that doesn’t ask for return gift and if it asks, it gets expectations attached with it and hence loses its limpidness. Love designs its own periphery and bestows the liberty to the person being loved that what he desires to do with the love being received. To reciprocate or not, how much to reciprocate, all these quantities are decided by the other person’s will. It liberalizes us from brooding over other person’s role in the relationship and consequently focus on our own role in the relationship zooms in. True love in its purest form doesn’t contain expectation rather it contains power and independence. A person vibrating true love is unaltered by the response of other side. True love transforms the person and sole purpose becomes only to love. To be loved or to get love are also elusive sentiments that amalgamate expectations with love. To do something or to love in true relations is not forced, it has to be organic.
In this swift paced fifth geared life we really need to stop and check, which feeling we talk about. We have been mixing many emotions and thus accepting pain as a part of love and relations. I realized it when I was going through my glum emotional phase. These glowworms of knowledge opened up my mind and most importantly made me to brainstorm what and how would that true love be that everyone unanimously aspire and dream of. Scrutinizing these thoughts made one thing pretty clear that true love is always selfless but when it gets extra addition of desires and wishes, it turns out into something else and doesn’t remain the same true love.
I stepped ahead and one more beautiful ingredient of true love was waiting for me to taste it to the core.
“Love me at my least because that is the time when I need it the most.”
I could feel this line as I was in the roughest patch ever and had no one to accept and love me but could sense the empathy for all those who were in the same frame of mind. The person who accepts us at our worst is the one who actually accepts us in our wholeness. True love never leaves the person and makes them feel alone. It is about being with the person at the worst and picking up their spirit so much so that they turn their scars into stars.
I folded the news paper and a mild smile was shining on my face. Perhaps it was the happiness of being touched with the true love.
It has been more than two months that I have rechecked and reformatted my definition of true love. I replaced obsession by understanding and acceptance and now it feels enriching and divine. Now I don’t complain or demand rather I give and share. I changed my role in my relationships. Now nothing else dwell within my heart except ‘true love’.