I’ve been that person who blames everything on fate and keeps wondering why would this just happen to me? I’ll have to admit that I have had plenty of awkward and unpleasant experiences which are pretty unlikely to happen to normal people which led to me becoming like this. But then finally I learnt to disintegrate myself from the category of normal people because I just don’t belong there. Hence lately I’ve stopped wondering why this stuff happens to me because I realised, something or the other happens to everyone. No ordinary or extraordinary person gets things perfectly right from the cradle. You need to go through a lot of wrong to figure out what right is. Right isn’t usually how we picture it, or how we want things to be. To most of us, the perfect state of affairs would be when we have everything we wish for. If you get everything you wish for, will it even make you happy anymore? No, not really.
If you don’t have anything to admire, then what’s the fun? People who are literally spoon fed and pampered to hell and back aren’t usually the happiest people. They’re in fact the most dissatisfied people you’ll ever meet. Since the usually keep on receiving everything they want, their demands rise to levels that cannot be met, and since they’re so used to never being denied of anything they end up becoming really cranky. Just because you want something doesn’t mean it’s good for you. If you find a dress really pretty and you buy it, there’s no guarantee that it’ll suit you. Everything is not meant for everybody. Just like if you really like a guy and you end up dating him, doesn’t mean things will work out between you. Liking is not the criteria for anything permanent in your life. Plus if you keep getting everything you want it’ll probably not hold the same worth in your life. That pretty dress you bought last summer? In all likelihood you’re never going to wear it again. I don’t like repeating clothes and I’m not even all that dressy so I can only imagine how much any dressy person is going to put an old cloth to use. For the very same reason people lose interest in their partners after sometime. The same person you were crazy about before, their presence doesn’t even remotely excite you anymore.
I have a very simple logic. For you to be able to experience happiness, you should’ve known sorrow well. For you to know love, you need to know hate. You don’t see the good till you’re familiar with what bad looks like. Have you ever had a really bad year? Or even a month? I have. And during that entire time you just can’t stop thinking of the good times you’ve had before. Even the minutest little things would look camouflaged and their value would be magnified. Looking back at all the good memories makes you as happy as it did then. You wouldn’t even probably remember these things had you been super happy. So each time something goes wrong, take that as a hint. It’s a sign from the universe that your life needs to get back on a realistic track and you need to set things straight. Happiness is not a situation, it’s a state of mind. You don’t need a perfect state of affairs for it, you just need positivity. And the most optimistic people are the ones who’ve known pain and hurt and have come out of it. Because they know best that whenever something goes wrong, it’s called a bad phase and it won’t last forever. People who value life most are the ones who’ve seen death close. People who’ve lost loved ones are the real keepers. They value people more and the time spent with them. When I got out of my first relationship, I had that long whining phase where I didn’t want to rationally think or understand anything. I just kept wondering why something like that would happen to me and how could I be so in love with someone blah blah and then it wouldn’t work out. But later when I was back in my senses, I realised that we need to let go of something bad you let another wonderful thing in.
You don’t have to carry the terrifying memories along but yes always carry the lesson along. Most things in life do happen for a reason, and you’ll not always be able to find out the reason instantly, it may take time or you may never find out. But whenever you do, you must always keep that with you. Every cloud does have a silver lining but it’s only when you look for it that you find out. Good things don’t walk through your door. It’s only when you’ve learnt to endure pain that you experience that ultimate degree of joy too. There’s always struggle behind success, because it’s god’s way of preparing you to handle the success. Nothing worth having comes easy. Everything in it’s place will make you happy, but chaos will make you a stronger and better person. Your struggle is your journey, happiness is the destination. And the journey is always more important. So whenever you feel like you’re going to give in, remember why you held on for so long, and there you’ll find your silver lining.