Importance of Being alone if you want to be Phenomenal

Do you feel lonely most of the time? Do you want to have many friends and prolific party invitations when you see the Facebook pics of your friends? Do you ask yourself questions like why can’t I have many friends, why can’t I go with my friends on vacations and enjoy my life?

We are human beings and we feel alone when we don’t have some really close friends and people to talk to us. That’s a human nature. But once the great 16th century philosopher, writer and thinker Francis Bacon said “Friends are thieves of time”. But that was in 16th century that’s what you would be arguing right now. They didn’t had to go through the competition phase, they were not vulnerable to today’s global pressure and were not exposed to the kind of individual pressure that we go through today.  That’s all right ,you have full right to question the relevance of 16th century quote.

But let’s talk about one of the genius of your knowledge, one with the bigger mind, Albert Einstein. He said, Be a loner. That gives you time to wonder, to search for the truth. Have holy curiosity. Make your life worth living.  And yes he also belonged to the 20th century. And he was one of the finest and mysterious scientist known to us.


We fear that if we don’t have friends we will be alone trying to figure out alone what needs to be done and what not. And that’s what Einstein say is a basis for being happy, when you can solve your problems by yourself you can develop the understanding of how to approach the next difficult challenge and thus he said- I am thankful to all those who said NO to me. It’s because of them I did it myself.

Now let’s look into what our generation geniuses has to say about being alone.

Once during an interview with BBC, JK Rowling ,the writer of series of Harry Potter, said “I was alone most of the time, thinking about what could have been the circumstances if I had an awesome life, cheerful childhood and a better first marriage. I had hero in my mind who would make my depressed and dismal life lively, fighting with mysterious power and winning over them and eventually that turned out to be Harry, the hero of my book.” Her second husband once remarked “The only person she trust when she is not feeling good is, but herself”

Why does such great and gifted people pressurize on being alone? Why are they most comfortable with themselves and only trust on their gut feeling at hard times? You might be feeling that it also depends on your profession. True. A professional actor would never say to be alone and would never be reluctant to a party invitation .Is that what you’re feeling?

Let’s talk about the king khan, the king of Bollywood, ShahRukh Khan. He was called to address the students of Yale University some 3-4 years back. He said many things that you won’t occasionally hear from actors. He mentioned “If you desire to be on top, you got to have habit of living with yourself”, he also said “It was not my talent that bought me the kingship, but the emptiness that my heart carried from childhood.” “All my heart wanted was a way to express my feeling, luckily people liked it and I got a profession to work on.”

Akshay Kumar in his latest interview on coffee with Karan replied in such manner “the first person on my list would be me” when Karan asked about the one who he would not invite at his party. Such is his reluctance to party and no doubt he is one of the fittest actor industry has seen, even at 40.

What’s the importance of being alone? Let me share some with you.

You go to an examination hall unprepared, what do you look for? Someone who can help you at least to pass the paper. What if you are not helped by anyone? And on the result day it’s F against your name. Imagine the kind of humiliation that you would be going through. But next time when you go, you are fully prepared. And obviously on the day of result your name is displayed in the list of candidates who passed this examination with flying colors.

Just feel the joy. Feel the confidence. Now you will never ever compare yourself with any of your classmates who passed this examination by coping or by cheating of any manner. You have differentiated yourself by this one act that caused a bit of humiliation in the beginning, which was also necessary but later you emerged as a confident person and that would automatically be reflected in your personality.

Let’s reveal the secret of Alexander. Alexander, the Great.

In the embryonic stage of him, he was taught lessons and was given reasons of why someone has ever achieved anything but not without lonely contemplation. He gave Alexander the example of Hercules, the great Hercules and said “Ask what loneliness is like from the great, he was given the title of mad-man”. He further said “no one can experience what it is to be phenomenal, in crowd. Either you can be the one lonely contemplating and analyzing yourself or you can be the one praising someone for his greatness”.


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