Inevitably Constant: Changes

“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”

Before I begin to say anything sensible, I have one very important piece of information. I have never been a fan of change. Any kind of change, it leaves me unstable, unsettled and only makes me unsure of what I’m doing. I’ve detested change for as long as I can remember experiencing it or even having the knowledge of it. But only lately I’ve realised that apart from its perennial nature, change is actually refreshing. Maybe you’re really content with your life and the way everything’s working out so smoothly for you, but you’re indifferent towards any prospects of making it better till the time you don’t open yourself up to change. It will leave you a little perturbed initially maybe, but you’ll never be able to explore the universe of possibilities until and unless you free yourself of the mundane monotonous routine that you have and be willing to embrace change.

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I know it’s frightening, at least for the initial bit of it. As a kid I had to change a lot of schools because my dad’s job was such that we’d get transferred every now and then. Every place I lived in had such a different environment, such different people with varied viewpoints. Now when I think of it, it literally blows my mind. But since I was too young then to be able to process my surroundings as maturely as I can now, I was usually very shy. It always took me very long to open up, and unfortunately, I didn’t even have the best of experiences on my first days. I was usually secluded, not a lot of people came up to offer any help or give me company and explain how their so called “groups” functioned. You know how it’s so important for a kid to have a nice big friend circle to play with, share secrets with, laugh with and learn and grow with. I always had trouble trying to fit into any group because I was an introvert and I couldn’t ever throw myself at someone, or push them to like me or be friends with me. I needed to be approached, which most people didn’t bother doing. I did eventually manage to settle down, but it took me a hell lot of time. As a matter of fact, I even cried on my first day of college; the orientation day to be very precise. I had always studied in co-ed schools and I had more guy friends than girls. In fact I didn’t ever get along with girls much, somehow they always had some issues with me. And surrounded by about a thousand women or more in the auditorium on the first day, I literally got a heart attack. And our class had a mixed crowd, like every other college does. But I had been used to a particular clan of people, certain kind of conversations, and I could find no such people that I could comfortably talk to. I felt so out of place, I ran out of the college as soon as I could and went straight to my best friend’s place. Had I not done that, I would’ve broken down maybe.

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Despite of how ugly my experiences with change have been, my life has never been stable. I have never had the same friend circle for over a period of two years. I’ve shifted houses, I’ve grown and shrunk sizes, I’ve had way too many changes in my tastes, be it music, food or people in general. My preferences have changed drastically and so have I. Anyone who hasn’t been in touch with me in the recent past may find it very hard to get through to my skin, or to recognize me at all. And that’s what happens with most people I guess, or at least I’d like to believe that. I’ve known people who’ve had the same best friends and who have led the same life for years and years, and I’d honestly like to congratulate them. Stability is really nice sometimes. But now If I think about it, I don’t think I can put up with the same environment, same people or even the same old me for very long. Change is not just the only constant there is, but it’s actually infinitely fulfilling. It brings along promise of a better life, it brings variety. It helps you confront your fears and challenge and defeat them. It allows you to turn awkward encounters into meaningful relationships. It gives you a lot more than it takes from you. What you have today is a result of what you let go in the past. You only have so much time, and so much space in your life, and you have to alternate between things and people because there’s too much to do and too little time, and too many people to know and only so much space to fit them into your life. So don’t be afraid, let change in. You’ll be surprised to see the places it’ll take you. Change is good, after all.

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