Infatuation, liking and love- There is a difference

I love you. The three most seemingly simple words totally misused and abused in today’s time for they are the easiest three words to say to someone when the feelings you hold for them are actually not represented by them. I, as a matter of fact use them quite vigorously and shamelessly and I admit that not with pride but not exactly with a lot of remorse or regret either, for I believe they are the three most wonderful words you could say to someone to make their day. Especially, if you’re capable of making them feel the words, you’re just adding meaning to their day without so much as a clue. It’s okay to use them actually, I can’t claim to be royally offended by those who do. Only tiny little catch here being, you understand what they mean. You don’t have to necessarily mean them each time you say them, sometimes they’re just flip right out of your mouth out of sheer joy or out of affection for someone. I’m being pretty realistic here. When someone gets me my favourite red velvet cupcakes when I’m upset; “Thankyou! I love you” are the words that immediately slide out of my mouth for the reason that I’m so used them! So I’m in no position to complain here.

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But sometimes, in certain situations, you really need to understand that difference between liking someone, being attracted to them and loving them. Often in this age, we’re so confused about so many feelings, and our feelings in specific are such a common problem. It’s so hard to figure out how you feel about someone, like those feelings aren’t actually yours but someone else’s; you’re literally puzzled. And often in this fix, we begin to claim that those feelings are feelings of love. The biggest reason behind us coming straight to that conclusion is that we all really want to be in love. And as soon as we begin to feel something familiar, we call it love, simply because it’s convenient and it makes us happy; believing that we’re in love makes us happy. The biggest difference between being in love with someone and liking someone or being attracted to them is the reason behind it. When someone asks you why you like a certain person, you can probably come up with a list of things, like how good looking they are, how intelligent they are, their personality, how they carry themselves etcetera. If someone asks you why you love someone, and if you really do, you’ll be blank. Like staring into space, clean slate kind of blank. I’ll tell you why. Love knows no reason and it doesn’t make sense. If you know why you love someone, you probably don’t love them at all. Of course you appreciate certain qualities they have and you’re equally aware of their flaws. But then, hell it, you love it all. Head to toe, left, right and centre, you love everything about them, everything they are, their dreams, ambitions. You love the fact that they’re flawed, that they’re imperfect and yet so wonderful. You know they’re going to make errors in their judgements, but you know you’re going to be there to correct them. You want to be there to pick them up when they’re down and dusted. You want to see and experience their highs and lows; you want to live their life as much as they live their own. The concept of love is too vast and encapsulates way too many things for someone who hasn’t been in love to understand.

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And hence, I can’t enumerate everything. Just because you’ve been in a relationship for the past 4-5 years does not mean you’re in love. Maybe it’s just a habit. Because you talk to them day in and day out, you’ve spent so much time with them and forgotten about the life you had before them, it doesn’t mean that you can’t go back to that life. Talking to someone every day, casual flirting, walking hand in hand, that’s not love. That is something I believe in a basic human need of a relationship that you’re trying to fulfil by believing that you’re in love. Everyone wants to be associated with someone that way, you know be that couple other’s envy. But you have to know that it’s so much more than that. I think having a crush is probably the most convenient way of making yourself happy, like just staring at them, stalking their social networking profile and giggling sheepishly in front of your laptop screen. Only thing is you know should what it is; just a crush, a mild infatuation and that’s all. Don’t blow it out of proportion or overdo it.

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Don’t say more than you mean and don’t be delusional. Save yourself for love, it’s going to come your way eventually. Believing that you’re in love actually aggravates that infatuation feeling and it grows into something way more complex that it doesn’t actually need to. Love is simple, and so is liking someone, don’t mess it up for yourself and don’t make it such a pain. Have that clarity in your head, and believe me it’s not that hard to figure out. The day you’re willingly ready to sacrifice something of your own to make them happy, and watching them have it doesn’t hurt you, neither do you want credits for it. You just love that smile on their face, more than anywhere else. You’ll know love then. So wait for it, it’s worth the wait. And don’t complicate your life unnecessarily. Live happy and love happy.

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