Intentions or outcomes? What matters more?

Have you ever hidden something from someone or told a lie to protect someone from getting hurt? Have you failed to say the right words to put across what you really wanted to say and been misunderstood? I’m sure this has happened to everyone at least once in their lives because it has happened to me many times. And that’s considering I’m keeping this on the background that I feel too much and think deeply about everything, so everything has a manifold effect on me, I can still vouch for that. We’ve all done things we aren’t proud of. We’ve all lied to save some heartache. But I don’t think that makes us a bad person. I have always been told to judge a person by their actions. Instead, I believe we must solely judge a person on his intentions; what he’s trying to do and not what’s actually happening. We cannot control the outcome of most things that happen to us. Mostly you can just do your best to steer your ship in the right direction; not that you have any control over the direction over the waves, but you try.

Intentions

What you intend to do may not always turn out to correctly. Sometimes, things will just go horribly wrong. Maybe one of your friends is upset, and you constantly keep asking them what’s wrong and they don’t answer, instead they get twice as annoyed as they already were because your constant questioning is disturbing to them. You obviously did not intend to worsen things, you were sincerely trying to know what’s bothering them and you wanted to offer help. But things didn’t turn out exactly like that. They went right in the opposite direction. And believe me this happens to me literally all the time. Sometimes I wonder if it’s just my luck. But never mind. Point is, what do you give more importance to? Intentions or the outcome? Now we’ll all sound too good to be true and tell ourselves that we really judge people by what their intentions. And while we claim that, we already know we’re lying. Humans are nearly designed to forget the good and have the bad carved on their memory, that’s how we function. We may have known a person all our lives, shared beautiful days, watched the sun go down with them, and wept on their shoulders but god save them if they ever go wrong or hurt us. We learn to hate much easily than we learn to love.

Intentions

It just sounds very convenient to hate someone or pin point their mistakes or criticize them right? Like they never did anything right at all. And the funny thing is, irrespective of whatever basis we may judge another person on, we always demand that others judge on the basis of our intentions, or however we may please. Sometimes, people expect more because they’re willing to do that much. But sometimes, they just expect otherwise. Because they feel like it’s their natural right to do that. Well, strangely so, it doesn’t work that way. You only deserve what you give, nothing more nothing less. So if you’re that fond of unnecessarily demeaning someone or passing a verdict on them as per your own comfort, you should be prepared to face the same kind of inappropriate behaviour from everyone else too. We all try our best not to hurt the people we love, but inevitably and incessantly end up doing the same. The fact is, we are all going to get hurt.

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You won’t know happiness if you don’t come to terms with pain. In fact, when anything good at all happens after going through a very hard time, you rejoice and relish it twice as much as you would’ve normally. Nobody wants to hurt and get hurt. Except probably, some psychotic people. But what really matters is your intentions. When you walk out of your house deciding that you’ll do something good today, no matter what really happens the entire day, you should know that you walked out of the house as a good person, and came back exactly that day. I won’t say everything is forgivable. Because you cannot drain certain things out of your system simply because they’re too disturbing or affect you too much. You may cause some serious damage sometimes too, but as long as you’re doing everything you can to fix it and you didn’t really intend to do that, it’s really okay to forgive yourself, even if the other person cannot forgive you. Because how you feel about yourself means more than what anyone else thinks. As long as you’re consciously not causing any damage, or deliberately not hurting anyone, you have had a good day. A day free of any guilt or any accumulated pressure. So don’t carry any baggage and don’t curse yourself. One mistake doesn’t make you a bad person, it doesn’t change you. Never allow an event in your life to become bigger than yourself. Let go of whatever’s holding you back. Don’t be frightened to step out of your house with that hope that you’d do something good today. Just because you failed once, doesn’t mean you’ll fail forever. And remember to walk back into that door at night the same person, or if any different, only better.

be a good person

 

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