Do you still think giving it another shot (after giving it a couple already) might be worth it?
Do you still end up begging him/her to take you back,knowing that you both can never co-exist?
Do you forget all your anger when he/she approaches you with a loving text and go all mushy and over board in ’LOVE’ again?
If most of your answers to these questions are a yes, then this article is for YOU! yes, YOU my friend. It’s just not you who is suffering from this gut wrenching, self respect destroying phenomenon. Many of us are on the same boat. You had a golden period with your Ex in the past,when it all started.When all was mushy and perfect, he used to take care of you and your needs,used to respect you like anything,used to make you feel like you are his only priority in life. Long phone calls,loving texts, going out, playful behaviour, and your relationships was defined as perfect by your friends?
You were just,HAPPY to be with each other! Then, gradually everything faded. No phone calls, barely any texts just to know if you both are alive, less going out,him being more busy than usual, not respecting you enough, Mean fights? Not apologizing due to ego? And BAM! It’s a break up! She dumps you,or he dumps you. Sometimes it can be mutual though!
But within a day or two, Running back to each other due to that lonely hollow feeling, that you both aren’t together anymore. Feeling that the void is going to kill you, gasping for breath you approach your ex! Hoping that everything will get back to how it was in the ‘Past’ someday if you put the efforts. You decide you will change, change for good. You will ‘make’ him respect you, you will ‘make’ him understand why respect is needed to sustain a relationship and how to get that trust back.
You get back together with each other and that kiss and makeup feels oh so perfect,just like in movies! What happens next? After a couple of weeks of perfect behaviour and promises, it goes back to how it was and everything gets ruined again. You keep telling yourself and cursing out loud “WHY DOES IT HAPPEN TO ME?? WHY DO I DO THIS TO MY SELF?” You knew you never suited each other at the back of your mind,still you approached him. This helpless feeling makes you approach your friends again and again for support,who are now quite done with this habit of yours of getting back to that EX. When them,being the spectators and better judge (because of not being in the mess) kept advising you not to do this with your life?
You still look at that phone waiting for a text from that person you ‘THINK’ you cant live without; and then giving up and texting him to take you back.
This, is a vicious cycle.It’s time for some tough love. Be it from your friends,or be it from an article . You need to understand that this vicious cycle will never break if you don’t make yourself strong enough!
Approaching that Ex again and again,getting back in a relationship,even after he/she DUMPED YOU which gives you nothing,and takes all from you gradually,is harmful for you,your personality,and your SELF RESPECT. What about that long thing made of parts which makes your body stand tall,or at least tries to? oh! A BACK BONE! What about it? Is it just to provide you structure or to remind you that you are responsible for how people treat you.
If you keep going back to that EX hoping everything will be fine but it doesn’t happen, You should get the message: The relationship isn’t meant to be.
Relationships which are meant to be,happen on their own. It doesn’t require undermining your self respect just to be with a person who doesn’t suit you.If the other person dumps you without any major fault of yours, then it should be a big red sign for you to CONTROL yourself from approaching him/her again and having respect for yourself.
You don’t have to change yourself and how you are,just to be with someone who will never appreciate your gestures.Going through all the ups and downs,holding on to each other in a strong relationship is one thing,but going back to that person because of being scared to exist on your own,the habit of depending on that someone,not only stops you to grow as a person but also ruins your independence and pushes the other person away from you.
You will have people coming in your life later,who will adjust on their own and you won’t even get to know when it happened.
No one said going through this would be easy. Looking at other person being happy in his/her life without you, breaks your heart into million pieces, but know it that there are many people suffering the same thing as you,some even worse. But some decide to get out of this vicious cycle for their own good,they become HAPPY and start recognizing their self worth.
They take the charge on their shoulders to get themselves out of the past,the mess and the cycle, And they succeed.
Whenever you get that feeling to text him/her or approach again,throw away that phone! Technology does no good in this situation.
Remember,if you try to hold your breath in water just because you love the world down below, You’ll die, because you are not made by God to survive there.
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you’ll find yourself a human like you soon. Patience is the key!