No more am I asking you to make lemonade of them and drink it down. I have more ways. Bribe me with chocolates maybe, and I’ll mail them to you. Rather still, you can give a little more time and attention to this place and know them all here. Saves chocolates, saves money, saves delay. Am I being too kind? I am. I am paid to be so. I know you are jealous, but don’t forget I’m telling you what to do with the lemons; I have the option of squeezing them in your eyes too.

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guisewite

Oh Crap! I just disclosed one of the many tricks of what to do with the lemons. Its obvious it doesn’t rain lemons. Someone’s buying them and making life throw them at you. How does that matter? It does, because you finding that someone and squeezing those lemons in their eyes. Wicked! Is it? Should be. Didn’t get me? I’ll try again. Defeat people in their own game. There’s nothing worse you can do to them. Nothing better you can do to yourself. Still don’t get it? That can cost me my job. I’ll try again. Tell people you would react. You won’t endure. You were not made to take other people’s nonsense but to throw it back at them.


“When life gives you lemons, chunk it right back.”
― Bill Watterson

If you cannot squirt someone in the eyes, try throwing back the lemons atleast. Won’t hurt as much and the lesson would be learnt. Do not take the lemons and keep them with you. Those lemons would not take you anywhere.  And if at all you are greedy enough to keep them, share them or they’ll rot. Rotten lemons stink. You’ll keep them still? No? Go ahead and share them.

“I believe when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade…and try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.”
― Ron White

Why don’t I see the ambiguity in my words as much as you do? Because they are my words I guess, but still I choose to share them with you. Get the point? They might be your lemons, others may not understand what they mean to you as much as you do but that shouldn’t prevent you from sharing them. Share your woes just like happiness. They might have for you a better understanding of your own lemons. Who knows? Like maybe you understand my words more deeply than I do. Yeah? Or you have the option of hiding them and letting people guess. If only in the process, you are still you.

“When life gives you lemons make grape juice and sit back and watch the world ask how you did it.”
― Tori Truax

This is a trick I love playing. It’s fun to get people thinking. It is even better to let them keep guessing while you flash a 32 teeth exposing evil grin. What’s the connection? Life gives you lemons, you squirt them in eyes, or chunk them back or even party alongside vodka. What else? Pretend the lemons were delivered on the wrong address. The trick is not in pretending like you don’t care but being indifferent. People would trade their hands for knowing where those lemons are going. Remember when your friend was done with his pocket money and still bought those shoes? The same reaction. An exaggerated version may be. When people ask, tell them I taught how to. You can invest those lemons in a beneficial policy too.

 “When life gives you lemons, you don’t make lemonade. You use the seeds to plant a whole orchard – an entire franchise! Or you could just stay on the Destiny Bus and drink lemonade someone else has made, from a can.”
― Anthon St. Maarten

Now this one is for all those who think business. Those who don’t might still try since there is no risk of investment involved. Those lemons are not your most priced possessions. You can afford to lose them rather happily. Sow the fruit and be patient till you get an opportunity to return the gift with interest. The interest more than the principle though. How we wish this could happen to our money too. If only! We might have spent more on shots of tequila then.

“When life gives you lemons, ask for salt and tequila”

Now this one is the best. Celebrate when life throws lemons at you. Get high, enjoy. Why you ask? Because it would happen only when you have succeeded enough to make people and life jealous. Lemons come at a cost. Remember? Celebrate your success and if you can’t there no way but to keep the lemons hidden deep within.

“When life gives you lemons. . . You might as well shove ‘em where the sun don’t shine, because you sure as hell aren’t ever going to see any lemonade.”
― Rob Thurman, Nightlife

Because if it is highly impossible for you to do any of the rest, you’d have to do with lemons what I’d never advocate. Life’s giving you lemons after all, if not productive you’ll have to go destructive. Keep them within, hampering your happiness, killing emotions, making everything go sour. Were we too bored of our body’s alkaline nature? Not a good idea? Choose from the others and live happy, live well. Don’t forget my chocolates though? Lemon chocolates would do too.

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