It’s been a long time since I wrote a serious piece. I have a preference for and dare I say some flair for the light hearted ones that I rarely take on the serious. But somehow, today, I am not in the mood for light hearted. You can’t make light of everything, as much as I’d like to refute that fact, I have to concede it’s true.
The sheer waste of life around me saddens me.
There’s a couple I know. Two amazing albeit beautifully flawed people they are. Individually, they have qualities I admire. Together, they make a couple I pity. Admiration and pity are two sentiments which cannot be used in the same context, not really. Yet, I am but helpless to do so when I see two wonderful people make each other miserable.
You see these two and know at once they could have made a beautiful home for themselves, a happy family. Yet their home isn’t beautiful, far from it, it is a weary place with a shaky foundation. I am not saying there is no love between them. You can’t live with a person for years and not love them just a little. Some affection, some care grows, unless the person is absolutely abominable.
Sometimes I wonder what holds them together. Perhaps the children they once made and now dearly love. Would the children be happy in house their parents are but strangers who argue and grieve? What if one day these children resent the same parents for a well meaning sacrifice made for their sakes? What are you trying to teach your kids? No matter something or someone makes you unhappy, you simply have to put up with it for misplaced reasons? Isn’t life too precious to be wasted so? Disrespected so?
Or perhaps the blame lies on the social set-up—the society only knows to dictate norms which if not followed guarantee censure. Such is life. Society harps on and on about virtues and turns a blind eye to the vices. That’s fair? Two lives are rotting away under the weight of years spent in misery. Two hearts are withering slowly but surely. Tender feelings are turning bitter, taking away the essence of life, laughter and smiles. That’s okay by the society’s shallow standards. If the same people, however, try and make a happy life independent of each other, separately, by breaking out of a wretched union, now, that is to be looked down upon.
One might wonder why two amazing people are incapable of making each other happy? If they’re so wonderful why can’t they make a life together which is equally wonderful? Disappointments, unrealized dreams, unsaid words, pride? What is it?
Pride can be swallowed. It is a shallow excuse for hurting people in our lives. Pride won’t warm your heart in the cold and lonely days.
Disappointments can be turned around by just a shift in perceptions. Being too set in our ways isn’t going to make the path easier. Our disappointments are our own. Putting blame elsewhere won’t change the reality of them.
New dreams can be dreamt. Bygones are bygones, time won’t wait forever. Dreams are to be held close, yes. But when the same dreams become shackles, let go and forge new ones.
Words can be said. Unsaid words won’t speak themselves. Feelings ought to be voiced. We need to make ourselves vulnerable sometimes. They’re the mightiest of weapons, to be wielded with care. An attack once made, a wound once caused, mortal or not, cannot be taken back.
Marriage is forever. I believe in the saying with everything that I am and aspire to be. That is why it is a promise not to be made lightly or thoughtlessly or under duress or for any reason other than love. I am not being a romantic when I say that. I truly believe love exists. Humans are beautiful creatures with immense capacity to love. When I say love I don’t mean the love we see in movies or read about in books. If you asked me what is love for me. I’d say it’s a miracle.
In our country people marry for all the wrong reasons—reasons which I’d rather not mention here for everyone knows about them, even if they decide to not question them.
Make a life with another because it’s what you want. You don’t have to always want to choose the same paths nor have to see life eye to eye. You’ve got to want to beat a path together when the chosen ones don’t meet. You have to change perspectives . . . alter your vision when the picture becomes hazy for one or both. A little give and take, lots of smiles and love that outshines all else . . . problems will be there, but they won’t seem quite so harsh anymore.
I understand life can break you. It’s up to you to let that happen or fight it. Mostly people give in or give up. Some fight back. I’d like to think when my beliefs will be questioned I’ll be the latter.
No one promises us sunshine and roses. No one prepares us for the storms and sorrows. It’s in our hands to promise ourselves sunshine and roses. It’s our choice how we whether the storms and sorrows.
Life doesn’t teach us resilience. We’ve got be our own teachers.