“Love yourself, accept yourself, forgive yourself, and be good to yourself, because without you the rest of us are without a source of many wonderful things.”
Tell me five good qualities about your best friend. What are the five things your mom is really good at? What is that one thing that makes your partner unique and the most special person alive? Not very difficult questions to answer, are they? We easily see the good and bad in people around us. We analyse them and make proper observations about what are the attributes that we like and we love them for those. Then there are facets which we don’t really appreciate about them, some traits which we don’t like but yet we accept them whole heartedly. Our friends and family also make mistakes and we have hard time dealing with those but in the end we manage to forgive them and move forward. But then why are we such a nut case with our own self?
The world teaches us to see the goodness in people, to accept them for who they are and to forgive them for whenever they go wrong. But little do we appreciate our own self. How rare it is that we ponder over all the qualities that are lying inside of us and all the talents we possess and can use to make the world a better place.
Have you ever analysed yourself the way you do others? And by analysing I don’t mean pointing out all the flaws and getting into a self-criticizing mode. But looking at all the goodness which lies inside of you. All the greatness that you have which no one else in this world does.
I know I suck at singing, I am not very good at maths, I might even happen to dance like I am embarrassing myself then what is it that I am good at? Am I good at anything at all? Sigh! I can totally dig up a pit and live the rest of my life inside of it. But then what if I decide to give myself a chance and learn to love myself? It’s not very difficult to love people and accept them then why I can’t furnish the same kind of feelings for myself? And I must not be that useless. There has to be a few good qualities in me as well. There must be something which makes me a good person.
Okay, now finding some likable traits is easy and loving yourself for them is somewhat plain sailing but what about the other not so likable ones? What about the characteristics which are not very pleasing. For example I often happen to make harsh comments without thinking during an argument and that also costs me big time. But that is unintentional and even involuntary. My friends know this and they have accepted me like this but then why am I having a hard time accepting my own flaw? Why cannot I be okay with it and learn to bear with it? I think this is something we all need to master. Loving and accepting ourselves. Knowing what are our strengths and also our weaknesses and then digesting them with dignity.
Acceptance is a virtue, once you learn to accept people and most importantly yourself you get a chance to truly appreciate. And after all we all are defective, erroneous and crazy beings. Just some of us hide it better than the rest. And it also means that we make mistakes. It only makes us human. But mistakes can also be repented and forgiven. We do it all the time, but for other people. Your boyfriend doesn’t shell out enough time for you and prefers hanging out with his buddies but then when he comes up to you feeling sorry and guilty you tend to forgive. But where does this forgiveness go when you make the same mistakes but instead of forgiving yourself you push yourself inside a pothole of shame and guilt. If you can forgive others then you sure as hell can forgive yourself.
Loving ourselves shouldn’t be very difficult. After all we know exactly what all we have been through, from where did we start sailing our ship and how far have we reached. Right now whether or not you are the person who you were supposed to be, you have to deal with it. If you look at yourself and feel worthy then love yourself. If you find issues that you need to clear then accept them and please for god sake, forgive yourself for all the mistakes you knowingly or unknowingly made or otherwise they will just create hindrance in your path while moving forward.
We all seek love, acceptance and forgiveness from others. Being liked by people gives us a different kind of satisfaction and a confidence. But unless you fall in love with yourself, seeking those things from others is useless. You don’t have to be harsh on yourself, you do not need to criticize or feel bad, instead dwell inside your heart and you will find greatness which you never noticed before.