Valentine’s day is just around the corner, so a big hearty congratulations to all those of you who actually have valentines. And for those of you who are single and available and yet have no dates, do not be disheartened, there’s always next year. So I was really intrigued by this whole concept of Valentine’s day and it turns out that the day originally had nothing to do with romance or love for that matter. It came to be associated with these terms only after Chaucer’s poetry on Valentine’s was written in the 14th century.
Personally, I don’t think there’s any relevance attached to this day, because it isn’t practically possible to allot a day which marks the celebration of love because we all find love in little things every day. And I’m sure we’ve all seen people throw the word around like it didn’t have a meaning at all. Like everything else we have a different approach towards love, our very own personalized definition of it, different modes of expression as well but I think one common feature in all sorts and forms of love that I’ve seen is selflessness. It’s almost criminal to claim that you love something/someone, unless you’re willing to part with something very essential or dear to you, to invest in that one thing/person you love. Also, it demands no validation or reciprocation. Its never a matter of give and take, its completely unconditional and remains the same irrespective of any change in circumstances, or the universe taking a 180 degree turn.
Apart from this, its almost divided into different genres, like music. Its all music, but they all sound different and have varied effects. For instance, love for your family is one of those binding factors in your life, whereas love for some form of art, its liberating, it’s a form of expression.
Talking about romantic love, as much we may love or loathe valentines, most of us secretly hope to have a date on this day. Romantic love in my opinion, introduces us to an unfamiliar kind of insanity. It’s a bundle of contradictions in itself. It sweeps you off your feet and keeps you grounded, gives you clarity and ambiguity all at the same time. All that jazz about the butterflies in the stomach? That actually happens. As ordinary as everything may be, everything seems more meaningful and worthwhile. Maybe that happens only during the apparent honeymoon phase of the relationship, or if you’re lucky, it may even last. But it’s a wonderful place to be in. Its like you’re walking into someone’s life and you like being there so much that you decide to stay. There’s a different level of comfort that you share with this particular person. And they have a sort of therapeutic effect on you. And I don’t believe love hurts. Its too good a feeling to hurt, it’s the people and their actions which hurt us and never the feeling. But its very important to recognize your individuality and not lose yourself in the relationship.
You should always remember the person you were before that one person walked into your life, and that you’ve been happy without them too. Excessive Dependence on any person or object is like a chronic disease. A certain amount of dependence is the natural consequence of being in love, but beyond that how much you give in to something and deciding on what to invest into is a personal choice and is in your hands. Remember to always be the person you’d fall in love with and not someone you’d hate to have around. There’s always more to look forward to in life than you think there is.
So if you’re single this Valentines, there’s absolutely no reason to feel lonely and dejected. Treat yourself, go out for a movie or a lunch date with friends. Buy something you’ve been planning to buy for a long time now, skip all your diet plans for a day and have your favourite dessert from that you’ve been resisting for quite some time now. You can be your own valentine too. There’s another kind of love that we usually forget about. Self love. The first person you’re supposed to love is the person you’re going to see in the mirror for the rest of your life. Because no matter what you do, that person is going to be with you even if everyone else walks out. Be the best version of yourself, the happiest version of yourself. Do things that make you happy and fill you with a sense of self pride. Don’t go overboard with that too, though. Set your priorities straight, and never ever settle for anything less than you deserve. Consider yourself single this valentines due to lack of people worthy of your time if that makes you feel any better. Remember that valentines is only a celebration of love, and any celebration implies happiness, so this valentines, find your own little reason to celebrate life.
Here’s my all time favorite love quote: There are reasons we met, reasons for the good and the bad times, and more importantly, a reason to an end. We have more to learn, more to experience, and more loving left in this lifetime.