Has someone ever tried to blame you for what you did not do,and pressurised you so much that you gave in thinking it’s your fault?
Has someone ever imposed the cause of a failure at their job upon you? Has it ever happened that someone made you receive the ire of the authority on their behalf, making you feel that it was your fault?
There are many people in this world, who do not like to admit their faults and impose them upon others. These people are not that brave to face the shortcomings of their own failures, and make other people face it on their behalf.
It makes them feel good about themselves by pinning blames on others and making them feel miserable for the same. The burden from their shoulders, the baggage of the failure gets shifted to someone else’s whom they pressurize to accept that the fault is theirs.
The people who take the blame on their shoulders and apologize thinking it’s their fault happens because these people are weak, and break down under pressure. They know that they haven’t done wrong. They know it’s not their job to take the blame on themselves but they take it. They fail at fighting the pressure imposed upon them and stop reasoning with themselves.
You, me and other people reading this article belong to one category or the other. Either they refuse to accept their fault and pin it on others, or accept faults not even when required and take the responsibility of what others screw up as well. In this world, people have so much at stake that they never accept their own failures. Refusing to admit that they can be wrong is one thing they stick to. It acts as a wall around them that is difficult to break as they feel admitting their fault would make them feel smaller. The wall they create never lets the failure penetrate into their mind. They do this thinking that their self respect/ social stature won’t go down, but actually it prevents them to learn from their faults.
Worse is, putting the whole blame on someone who is weaker than you. Trying to feel better about yourself by making other feel miserable due to the fault on your part is the worse thing someone can do to others and also to themselves.
Some people manipulate others into taking up the blame on their shoulders, And some just pressurize so much that the weaker person breaks down and takes up the blame on their part, thinking that it might end some day
The people who take up blames under manipulative circumstances feel trapped by the over bearer, and find no way out . Be it feeling manipulated by material or emotional matters, the person finds no way out and finds the best to give in. In another case when a person who is emotionally weak is pressurised, he/she breaks down and starts to think its their fault somewhere . They take the blame on their shoulders and feel even worse later.
At the end of a relationship, one blaming the other for the mess, even if both the parties are at fault is something very common that people come across in their life. The person who is blamed for the whole mess collectively, suffers from regret all his/her life. In the cases of rape victims,where girls are commonly pressurised to feel that it was their fault if they were raped is also a big example. Be it clothes or going to a secluded colony, never is it said that no guy should be getting the thought of raping a girl be it any circumstances. Be it your boss putting the blame of his failure on your shoulder in the meeting, or just your friend putting the blame on you for the thing she lost! People never cease to put the blames on others, and we too must have done that some way or the other to someone.
We should understand that accepting your own fault, is the biggest thing you can do for yourself and for others. Accepting your own mistake never makes you feel smaller than you are,It just teaches you lessons which you can take forward in life and by which you can correct your mistakes. People appreciate the person who is big enough to accept where he went wrong, and spares others the blame for the same. the person on whom you impose upon suffers through circumstances which have not been created by them, but due to someone else’s fault. It creates the feeling of remorse, regret and resentment in the other person.
We cannot change others if they keep putting the blames on others, we can change ourselves and if we find coming under the pressure of someone to accept something which we haven’t done, and take forward the blame of their mis doings all our life- We should start making distance from that person and certainly say NO! Most of the people who are easily pressurised are emotionally weak, and find it difficult to say no. The advantage of which the over bearer experiences and finds himself free of all the guilt by transferring the load to the weaker person. We should become emotionally strong and should understand where we stand, we are not liable to pay for someone else’s mistake or lapse and hear for the same, because in the end its us who will not be able to live happily after, and will keep regretting why we gave in to pressure.
Becoming stronger doesn’t always mean handling your emotions properly, but also means understanding when to say no, how to handle pressure, and most importantly distancing yourself from the people who manipulate you or pressurise you to take the blame of their faults on your shoulders.