Oh, Wicked One!

They say an empty mind is a devil’s workshop. They’d be right!

I have nothing to do. Okay, that’s not entirely true. It’s preparatory leave time, so of course I have lots of studying to do. In fact an hour back I was doing just that. But then, there’s something called overdose. If I studied a minute more, the doctor might diagnose a case of overdose of constitutional law. I couldn’t have that! Could I? Now, if it were a good I-have-your-heart-in-my-thrall novel, perhaps I would have loved overindulging. Since it was the interesting-sometimes-annoying-most times-constitution I had to stop reading. You get me, right?

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Now that we’ve established why I had nothing to do, let’s summon the wicked one! I don’t mean wicked one from wizard of oz, by the way. Though that was one awesome do-not-make-use-your-brains movie! I liked it! Especially the last bit! They beat two wicked witches with fireworks! Who’d have thought of that! I hope there’s a sequel to it. That reminds me I had to read the book, too.

Oops, I digressed. Getting back to my wicked one! Who is it? Any guesses? Oh come on, it ought to be obvious. My brain, silly!

You see . . . empty mind equals devil’s workshop equals wicked one. Voila!

So wicked one, tell me, how do you do? Dearest readers, you’re right, I am indeed going to talk with my empty mind! Perhaps a doctor might bring my sanity into question. Never mind, I’ll give the doctor a royal ignore. My sanity has never been questioned earlier, nor will it ever be. You think I am lying. Well, hell, why the delay, prove it!

Meanwhile I have a conversation to return to with wicked one!

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Oh, wicked one, tell me, for I am dying to hear from you, how are you? Bored! That’s so sad, wicked one. Why are you bored? Because the being I happen to be attached to won’t let me do what I want to. What might that be? For starters I want fuel so I can set the thinking wheels in motion. But the stupid being won’t get her lazy self to the kitchen and eat! Wicked one, I think you ought to watch your words, since I happen to be that being. Or else I’ll starve you! Come on, reply! Why will you not say anything? Don’t you like me? Nah, I don’t!

You don’t, huh! On seconds thoughts I don’t want to talk with you either! I am ditching you in favor of my lovely readers. Who’re awesome, unlike you!

I am heartbroken, lovely readers, because my own head doesn’t like me. Oh I know it’s the devil at work. The devil has turned my brains against me. I request you not to hold me liable for whatever my head thinks now. It’s the devil. Not me!

On a side note, melodrama can be fun. Don’t you agree?

Getting back on track . . . For instance at the moment my head is thinking how nice it would be if I dumped water on my little sis who is sleeping next to me. How dare she sleep, wicked one says, when I am not sleeping? She doesn’t let me sleep, when she is not sleeping. The last time she woke me with slobbery kisses! Eh! But then she’s just so cute, let’s not wake her. Cute being a euphemism for terrifying!

A few days back the wicked one made me do something wicked. I went to the lake and saw this guy, staring at water aimlessly. Under the influence of our respective wicked ones my friends and I walked to the solitary man and gave him a lecture on why he shouldn’t think of suicide by drowning. Poor man didn’t know what hit him and why!

On another day, I saw a lovey-dovey couple at the lake. The wicked one got annoyed at the PDA, so under his influence I stopped behind the duo with a couple of my friends and we laughed our hearts out, spooking the love birds.

Once my sister and I saw a school-principal-like lady in the market, shooting daggers at us because we were talking about why people shouldn’t wear shades at night. It’s not our fault that it was her son wearing shades. She looked about to lecture us or something. The wicked one gave us an idea and we, again his influence, indulged in some sister PDA—Hugs and words of love! The lady was duly embarrassed, so she left!

These are but few examples of what the wicked one does! What does your wicked one do? Because, believe me, everyone has a wicked one. After all, at one point or another, you must have been a victim of ennui and an empty mind? Unless, of course, you are a busy bee, in which case I pity you. You see, the wicked one may be a pest, but he is fun!

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My wicked one says he wants to do something wicked and wants suggestions from you guys.

PS: I’d better get back to the books!

PPS: I hope I didn’t bore you, lest your wicked one rear heads!

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