“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.”
We all ponder over the idea of love and being loved. How is it going to be when we have somebody in our lives that can see through us, through our dreams and fears through our joys and miseries and love the person they find there? Every one of us must have been in love at some point of their life or at least wished to be. We see people in love and feel like we need somebody too, who can complete us and makes us feel special. And the moment we think of a need for that love in our life, we immediately attach with it a necessity of being perfect and flawless. I think, somehow love is over rated. Or at least the idea of a perfect love is definitely over rated.
How can one possibly define a perfect love? Will it be something that has only seen sunrises and has never experienced a moment of darkness? Or something that has never faced challenges or harsh circumstances? Do you look for a perfect person to create a perfect love with? Rubbish I must say.
Where did the idea of finding a perfect love come from anyways? Did the Hollywood movies inspire us too much? Or the romantic novels have spoilt us so much that we forgot to see the magic in chaos, in randomness and in imperfections?
As a little girl I have surely read a dozen fairy tales that encourage every girl to believe in the magic of love. But did they also tell us that there always have to be a drop dead gorgeous prince charming who lives in a magnificent castle, owns a white horse and someday will come to swipe off our feet and take us away to fairy land? I guess not. Maybe you can find your soul-mate in that average looking guy who sits next to you in English class. Maybe the person you have the most arguments with is the one who cares about you the most and loves you the most.
The quest for perfection is endless. It starts from us and eventually ends at us and everything else just comes in between. You know you want to look perfect in any outfit you wear, you want to have a perfect family the way they show in movies, get perfect grades in school and have a perfect job, but love? When did a need for that occur? For all that I know, all love needs to be is real and unconditional, limitless and selfless.
There is always going to be mess in everything we look at. In yourself, in your friends, in your family and in your partner. But the real deal is to be strong enough to trust that mess and accept the way the things are, the way people are. If there is some better way you can think of then go for it and work hard to have that betterment in life but at some point you will have to settle with what you have got since perfection is unattainable.
Now when we are talking about love, there is a harsh reality to it that we all need to face from time to time. The road of love isn’t as smooth as we want it to be. It comes with numerous bumps and potholes, twists and turns, storms and even blind spots. No matter how much you wait for it to get easy it never will and that mess will always find you. You want your love and your relationship to be a walk through the clouds but that will just be your imagination. As for reality there will always be some flaws and some blockages that can shatter your idea of a perfect love.
Imagine for a moment a sky where all the stars are aligned in a proper mesh, a sky where clouds make no random shapes and patterns, or a world where everything has an order. Would it look as beautiful as it does now? Not really I suppose. The beauty that randomness and imperfection holds in it can’t be found in perfection. Or everything would be too plain and boring.
So why not just quit chasing after perfection? Quit looking for that perfect being. For no one is perfect in this world. For god sake, even you are not. Waiting years untill you find somebody who seems eligible to be your unblemished and impeccable partner with whom you will have one ideal love. Why not instead take chances and trust the not so perfect ones? Giving them a prospect to love you and taking a prospect to love them, to let them in. Why can’t you just choose an imperfect person, decide to see beyond their inadequacies and foibles, and then you can create your own tale of perfect-imperfect love. Because when you believe in magic you find it hidden in the most unlikely of places. When you believe in the certainty of love and just love, you find perfections in the most imperfect of love.