Physically Apart, Closer At Heart!

“Distance means so little when someone means so much”, as much as I’d like to believe that its true, its still kind of debateable if you ask me. At the beginning of everything new, there’s a sense of adventure, there’s a certain amount of neediness because you’re venturing into a space that you’ve never explored before. That space may be someone’s life. But there’s a greater amount of optimism attached to everything at the very advent of it. But slowly when you begin to get realistic about it, that’s when it hits you. Distance is good as long as its not too much and not for too long. And I really believe if you can survive the distance, you can survive just about any test of time because there’s nothing harder than not having the right person to make the right memories with. The ‘I wish you were here’ can only take you so far. How long can you wish upon shooting stars? Sometimes you want to lie underneath the stars together and talk until dawn. But you’re all alone sitting there and wishing for someone you can’t get your arms around. Really, where is the good in goodbye?

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Distance gives you more lost time and memories and more insecurity than it does you any good. But you know they say, the heart wants what the heart wants? Truer words haven’t been said. You cannot be practical about these things after long. You don’t foresee these things when you get into a relationship. Its not a contract that you’ll look into what returns you’re getting out of it. Its simple, fairly simple at least. Relationships, love, these things don’t really involve much of a thought process. You’re almost blinded by what you feel. You don’t know where it’ll take you or how easy or hard its going to be. All you can do is give it a shot and hope that it all works out well. And distance here is not only relevant in romantic relationships but generally too. I clearly remember my mom crying like a baby at the airport when my sister left town for her education. Obviously it was for her own good but it doesn’t make the thought of not having someone you love right in front of your face every day any better. Someone you’ve kept at an arm’s distance since the day you first held them in your hands. But that’s one side of it, this is where I try to be realistic about long distance relationships and distance in general.

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Whoever said that distance makes the heart grow fonder must have thought of something when they said that right? Now let’s go into that. You know you value things that you don’t have a lot more than the ones you do, Grass is always greener on the other side, you never know what you have until you lose it? ALL of this is true. That’s how we people function. You want it till you don’t have it and once you have it, you’re just not as enthusiastic about it anymore. It’s worth goes down in your head because now its more accessible to you. We all know its wrong to take things and people for granted, but we all do it. It’s a trait we’re born with and we have to deal with. What role does distance have to play here? Distance reduces your access to that thing or that person making it far more valuable than it already was in your head. It increases your hunger for it; now you want it more because you know its harder for you to have it. And then again, who doesn’t like being missed? You like to disappear sometimes to see who comes looking for you. I read this quote somewhere, “Nobody wants to die, everyone just wants to be saved”, and it makes a lot of sense.

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Okay so assume that you’re in a long distance relationship with someone and you only get to meet like twice a year or so. Now that you know you won’t have adequate time with them, you literally savour every moment you get. That’s what makes it all worth it. When someone flies down to see you, or sends you a bouquet of your favourite flowers or a box of your favourite chocolate, there is nothing that’ll make you feel more special than these tiny gestures will, just because they’re done from a distance. You wouldn’t normally feel half as good if they weren’t away because it would seem so regular. Now I don’t deny that its possible that you love these gestures all the same whether you’re close or apart, I can’t generalise that. Plus these days there are just so many ways to stay in touch all the time. You can literally share every moment of every day with them. But then nothing matches up to the goodness of the physical presence of the person. You can’t hold a person over Skype. Distance may or may not make the heart grow fonder depending upon the level of commitment and the intensity of your feelings. There are always two sides to everything. Its how you choose to look at distance that makes all the difference.

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