Relationships that Are Unhealthy

If someone in your life makes you unhappy more than they make you happy, it does not matter how much you love them, you must let them go. Not because you no longer care, but because you are finally putting your own needs and happiness first. – Unknown

How do we define what is healthy and unhealthy when it comes to relationships? If two people have come together and decided to spend the rest of their lives together, it doesn’t mean everything is hunky dory. Everyone goes through bad times and it often affects the relationship they are in. If there is anything that we learn from failed relationships, it is that there is no point in dragging it on.  How often have we been in a relationship even though it has completely lost its charm?

When we talk of a healthy relationship, the first thing that comes to our mind is the necessity of trusting each other. If there is no trust between the two, then there is no point of being committed to one another. If you have to check your significant other’s phone time and again to find out what he’s been up to, then there is something wrong. However, it is not just trust which determines how well a relationship is going. Many women have to undergo mental as well as physical trauma which affects them for the rest of their lives.  Many of them choose not to speak up as they do not want to cause any trouble. This is where the problem begins. Why do we choose to be in such an unhealthy relationship when we are not even happy, let alone be satisfied? Agreed, it’s not always rainbows and butterflies, but it’s not always about dark and rainy days either.

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When you love someone, you are willing to look past their flaws and accept them for the way they are. But can you use that same line over and over again just to save yourself from a break up? There is no point of being in an unhealthy relationship where not only you, but your significant other is also being hurt time and again. Being in such a relationship ends up creating a lot of negative energy around you.  And it isn’t just about the two people who are committed, but also other people- like your friends and family.  Your relationship is something that affects everyone related to you. Why cause worry to yourself as well as them?  You feel it’s justified that you are sacrificing your life just for the sake of others but it isn’t so.  If you yourself aren’t happy, then there is no way you can make other happy.

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There are also times when you are not able to devote time to your relationship which makes you feel helpless and guilty.  If your partner really loved you, they wouldn’t have asked you to choose between them and your career. It’s as simple as that. It is necessary to get out these relationships as soon as possible or things will end up becoming worse.  However, I do understand that saying all this is much easier than actually doing it. How does one get to know when the line has been crossed and that its time to move on? Your partner might be going through a rough time; there might something bothering him or her. There is nothing wrong in giving a chance to the other person to change but set a limit and do not let him or her manipulate you.  He or she should support you and not look for opportunities to belittle you and that forms the very base of a relationship. It should be more about each other’s upliftment instead of bringing each other down.

Everyone deserves to be happy specially if you are with ‘the one’. If you feel that there is nothing left of your relationship yet you’re not willing to leave that person, then you are completely wrecking your self-respect. One should never have to bow down in a relationship. Yes, sacrifices are necessary but to completely lose yourself is a totally different thing.  Love is something which in no form should be sacrificed. Everyone deserves to be happy.

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If you finally decide to let go, then do not go back to your decision. You have chosen to break up, and there is a reason behind that. You have to learn to be happy without being dependant on your other half. There is no point in thinking of making it work. If you heart says it’s time to move on, then do not ignore that. You can either spend days or even months sulking about your failed relationship or you can start all over again and live a happy healthy life. No one wants to look at that gloomy face; it’s time to turn over the page and start a new chapter of life. It will be hard, but in the end it’s all worth it.

“If you’re the only one in the relationship trying to make an effort, giving love and getting none in return, get out of that relationship” – Unknown

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