We all have certain secrets , we would never want to share with anyone. Don’t we ?. We name them as our dirty little secrets which haunts us , makes us feel guilty and ashamed . These trouble us and bring us down. We all keep our emotions within us because we don’t like being projected as weak.The worst , what if someone asks us the matter. Inferior we feel from others at times and suppress our real feelings.
We all have secrets that trouble us and constantly remind us of the big mistake or blunder we committed. And since we can’t share or show our real feelings mainly due to trusting issues we get frustrated. We feel cheated in life. We dwell over our innocent little sins without confronting them. Because probably running away from them and not thinking about them is a much easy option. Terrible ideas cross our mind and no matter how strong a person we are we become weak.The problem is we don’t acknowledge our mistakes, we prefer believing we didn’t make any. Hence we refuse to accept and then our secrets start mounting.
Why would anybody want to hide something?. There could be many reasons to that- the biggest being fear. Fear of hurting someone or losing someone close just because of one stupid mistake we committed.We can spend years in regret but we are not courageous enough to spill the secret out. The second reason is trusting issues . Telling a secret is not a problem but keeping one is a big issue. Many people don’t have the ability to keep up secrets, knowing the fact that they are difficult to keep. Hence we prefer to keep them intact in our heads instead of sharing it with others. Another major reason is avoiding any kind of judgement. We all are aware that sharing certain kind of a thing will make others judge us. Now , if you have a love affair and your friend considers it as bad , you will prefer not telling her to be spared of the trouble of being judged. Are affairs bad? . Most of the people would say “yes” but judgments are always beliefs or opinions even if everyone agrees. They are never hard, absolute truths.
Some experts believe that people’s greatest fear is not death, suffering or even public speaking. It is humiliation and judgment. And to save ourselves of such humiliation we prefer to suffer the discomfort of hiding a secret. We fear the consequences which will happen after we open up. All kind of pessimistic thoughts come in our mind and the ability to think positive just vanishes. We try to please all by hiding from them the rules we broke. We all break rules and we all hide them as well. When we are young keeping a secret is a real big issue. Somewhere the trust is lost , the innocence is lost and we all live in our own world of secrets totally unknown to the rest of the world , even to people close to us.We start believing that it is just “we” ourselves who can keep our secrets. We try to hide them in our subconscious mind , ignoring them and trying to get over them .
But ignoring a thing is never a solution because it stays there. The psychology of secrets is quite complex.They are definitely not easy to keep and we want to share them with at least one person to get rid of the burden and get some kind of mental relief. The amount of stress and regret both decline when we share a secret with someone close. We all keep ourselves trapped and wrapped in the wide range of limitations. Following life by the rule book made by us only is not easy, and aren’t rules meant to be broken. Our secrets, they help us stay sane. It is not necessary that secrets are only the sins and mistakes that we are hiding -there can be positive secrets as well. But secrets are often not taken in a positive sense. The fact that we are hiding something itself gives the clue that it might be something wrong or sinful. And we have to justify our secret once it is shared. So we simply avoid such troubles and keep our secrets safe within ourselves.
But the real problem with secrets is that they cannot be kept for long. No matter how well a secret is kept , it’s leaking somewhere , somehow in your life. They change your behavior and if you are living with a hidden secret of your own, you are bound to be unsettled and disturbed all the time.There will be feeling of restlessness within you.
On the other side of your fear is your honest voice. Secrets bind you and restrict you to a great extent making you emotionally weak. You do learn to gain control over your emotions but in weak moments you want to shout out loud.In our world of secrets we reside , each one of us. We all have our ” hidden secrets” . Secrets are nothing but hidden truths.
The only secrets are the secrets that keep themselves. – George Bernard Shaw