“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful. It has been said that the great events of the world take place in the brain. It is in the brain, and the brain only, that the great sins of the world take place also.”
― Oscar Wilde
Try this sometime. Buy a box of your favourite cupcakes or cookies, or just keep a plate of your favourite food in front of you in a room and see how long you can go without it. I’ll tell you what happens when you do that at the very end.
The deal with control is, we all mostly desire control over others, over materialistic things, over the weather, over what we cannot and must not govern. Our desires are most often wrong. The one person in the world who you should really feel the need to control is yourself because well, you’re all you’re ever going to have power over, and healthy power, not the kind that rots someone’s life or your own. The kind of power that teaches you discipline and teaches you how to feel free within certain vital boundaries. Now I pretty much preach this all the time, that you really need to follow your heart and have no regrets. Well, just like everything else, conditions apply here too. There’s no sure shot way of knowing that your heart won’t lead to some dark, dingy place with no escape routes, because our hearts are pretty capable of going rouge or bizarre as we all have experienced from time to time. So yes, following your heart sometime may actually lead to some serious heartache too. Now I’m no psychologist to tell you when it would be appropriate to follow your heart and when it wouldn’t be. In fact I can’t give to any adequately accurate theory or philosophy that’ll help the complexities of your life wither away.
But from my personal experience, I’ve known this, after wildly following your heart for a while, you need to return to your roots and positively enquire that you’re headed in the right direction or not. Because temptations often guide our lives and not so very correctly. As much as you’d like to do something, it is not necessarily required of you, and sometimes it’s not proper to do that. Hence, self control is the one of the most crucial art you need to master. And when I say you need to master this art, doesn’t mean that you must deny yourself all little pleasures, but find out exactly the amount of control you need to exercise on yourself. So yes, from time to time you should let yourself free completely and allow yourself to enjoy all the things you love, but then you must remember the return point. I’ve tried dieting and believe me it’s a pain. I would go out with my friends and all my friends are big foodies so they’d be hogging all the time, and I’d have all these beautiful mouth watering cheese ridden dishes in front of me, and then those extra yummy shakes that I’d gulp down my throat in one go once upon a time, but now all I could is stare at them and order something non-fattening if at all something like existed in their menu. Else I’d just go back with an empty stomach and a dent in my heart so deep with the visuals of all the food replaying in my head.I did that plenty of times believe me, and it did reap results. It took me a while and some good amount of suffering before I learned to say no, but I did and it did me good.
When you break up with your boyfriend, it’s so hard to not stalk their profiles, or keep a track of what they’re doing and they’re upto. It’s this constant restlessness that bothers you all the time because you’ve been used to knowing every detail of their life and you’ve never had to struggle for that. Frankly, till the time you keep stalking them, you’re never getting over them. Or at least till the time you don’t get tired of doing it. I do that sometimes when I can’t get myself to stop. I keep looking at that picture that brings back painful memories and inflict the maximum pain upon myself in one go so that I never feel the need to see that picture again, and I’m finally free of the painful memory and the temptation to revisit it too. ‘No’ doesn’t sound like a very pleasant word I know but it saves you a whole lot of trouble. You can avoid it for as long as you want but one day you’ll have to learn to say no to things that are wrong, even if you wildly desire them and love them, they may not be good for you. And we all know what’s good for us, we just often pretend to be oblivious of it because it’s the easier thing to do. Ignorance is bliss, but knowledge is far more rewarding, and most rewarding is action. So take a step forward today, and don’t lean on anyone. Hold yourself together and hold yourself strong. You’re stronger than all temptations and bigger than all things you love. Once you believe that, that box of cupcakes in your room will go right back to the fridge within an hour, just as it came. And you’re going to feel wonderful about it.