A lot of people think all that’s wrong with the world is mostly because of the narcissism that people now days get into. We start blaming the narcissism on all on the other, then on the media and even on Capitalism! But if you look beneath the veil the actual problem lies in the inability of people to love themselves. Somewhere in the rush of the hour we tend to leave who we are behind in the crowd and just flow with the tide which leads us to nowhere. In all this alienation we tend to create a sense of superiority and the thought of me, me, me! starts manifesting itself in your actions but an unwavering line runs between narcissism and self-love. When we say one should love oneself, it doesn’t imply that one has to be selfish and try to get oneself ahead on the expense of others but rather it’s about caring for yourself. The moment you stop caring is when things tend to get jumbled up and life doesn’t make sense anymore.
Self-love is also a central key to the relationships that we weave around us because caring like everything else must begin at home and with your own self. If you cannot even begin to understand what love is or what care is, how will you extend it to the world at large? So the key is to extend that me into a we. People who are frustrated with their own self are the ones who tend to get cynical with the universe. Such people around don’t realize that they have been ignoring their own self as they go about stating all that’s wrong with the world. They tend to forget that love is about giving and receiving. It’s not selfish and doesn’t come with sub clauses like a contract. If you feel something strongly there’s never enough that you can do to express it. But to acknowledge this power of happiness rests within you, one has to start by taking time out for themselves and asking the right questions. What makes me happy? Do I extend the love I feel to the world or am I just holding too much in?
With all the self-love talk going around, you might wonder what exactly am I supposed to do to love myself? I do care about what I want in life and will do things to get it, and then what is it that I need to do more?
Well, to begin with Self-love is about taking responsibility of your own self. We can’t always have the luxury to just let things be, we have to remember that we are accountable to our self for every action that we pursue will have a reaction. You can’t go about carelessly losing yourself to the world because at the end of it all there are repercussions waiting for us at the end of the line. But at the same time self-love is also about respecting one self and knowing one self. Now you might think you do know yourself, you have been living with yourself since you were born! But that’s not what I meant. Often we try to put on different coats over our core, our true self. We tend to somewhere appropriate values and structures from the world and forget who we were once. If you reflect on all the things you wanted a year ago, or say five years ago, you might realize they were very different from what you want now. So the questions that you should be asking are, how did I get here? What choices did I make? Were all those choices my own creation or were some of them influenced by the conditions I was in? Asking all these questions might bring you closer to your own thoughts without the many layers that you put on. Before you begin to see the beauty in yourself you have to know yourself. Your weakness and your strengths, your limits and your aims, it’s important to know where you stand to understand how you can move forward.
We often imagine Happiness and being happy as this state where rainbows never end and life is just a huge party where everyone loves everyone else unconditionally. But what do we do to be happy. Most of us think it has to come naturally, if you are meant to be happy you will be happy no matter what. Such fatalism can go a long way in denting the way you look at the world. To be happy you have to realize that every person, every individual, including your own self is different from all the other. And that unconditionally seldom comes appears like a magic trick but rather has to be cultivated in the way you live. Instead of centering the world around you, do little things that make you happy. Learn to live with yourself as if you were the best friend you will ever have only then can the unconditional self-love grow within you and extend to all the other people you care about and love.