And the fear of falling in love with somebody I realized is itself already silent love.
She was his friend , not the best of his friends but his classmate ever since they were kids . They knew each other pretty well for they were neighbor’s too but never really talked to each other.
She was pretty , intelligent and vibrant about her life. Yes, she was among those happy go lucky girls with always a big smile on her face. She had all the attention a girl needed, she was known , people talked about her for she was one of those famous persons of her college. But she was also something they didn’t know- a silent lover. She had loved him ever since she had known him and none of her friends knew about this. This feeling it was just her’s and she chose not to share it with anyone , not even the guy she was in love with.
And it wasn’t that she was not brave enough to do that, to go and tell him but she knew somehow that it probably won’t work out ever. She thought of confessing her feeling to him a million times but each time her mind won over her heart. She wasn’t insecure , neither did she fear rejection – she was just practical enough to know the right and wrong. She different and crazy and could spend years keeping her feeling to herself. She didn’t cry herself to sleep like other girls in love , she slept happy and contended. Neither did she make scenarios for she was too busy living the present.
As far as that guy is concerned he was totally unaware about her feeling for him. His books were his life but there was a part of his heart that belonged to her secretly, and he dare not share that part with anyone else. He could never get a clue of her love for she never showed and he could not show for he was sure they were never getting together. Their feeling for each other was so mutual yet undiscovered , hidden somewhere they would never let anybody reach. There was no such reason for them for not approaching each other , Just a conscious awareness from both sides that they couldn’t be together. There was no way they would confess their love and it was difficult to guess whether it was a sign of strength or that of weakness.
Everyday was the same. They cycled to college together in silence , smiled in between, greeted each other with a word or two and cycled together back home. They have had dinner parties together but never did they share their feelings with each other. They noticed one another but only when the other one was looking away. They did not even wanted to try building a bond, they wish they could have. So much of understanding yet no togetherness.
She wrote poems , he wrote lyrics for each other ; unheard. They knew everything about each other ,every detail. They did praise few things about each other and despised others. It wasn’t like they were too different , they did have common things to ponder over- yet they were not together for reasons better known to them. They did not sulk in the absence of each other and did not ignore the feeling that came to their mind regarding each other , they just had this immense feeling of love they did not wanted to get rid of.
Both had different roads , different destinations and interests that they had to focus on. They had other things to think about too beside thinking about each other.
There was this guy hidden behind his books who could not even dare to think that a girl so pretty and charming would fall for him. He was so far from knowing the fact that that girl did like the guy with specks , behind his books. She was in love with the guy who loved doing math she so hated, she was in love with the guy who sits in the corner of the class studying, trying his best , biting his nails to solve things . But it was her big secret.
And he was in love with the girl everybody loved, nothing new about it. He was in love with this pretty girl who in night tied her hair in a bun and wore silly pajama’s , he was in love with the girl who wrote amazing poems and the girl who looked pretty than the day before. Hah! and it was his big secret.
Sometimes its just better not to show your feelings to anyone and keep them safe and pure with yourself. They knew if they told about their feeling to their friends , it will ultimately reach the other person and hence they decided not to. The silence of their love spoke volumes but they preferred to keep it silent. They shared the common secret of love. It is not always about working out , sometimes it’s just a beautiful secret and then as they say time heals everything.