A few years ago, when we were probably 12 or 13, we were hesitant to say words like “love” or “romance” in public or even to our best friends. We used to give that sheepish smile when someone says she “likes” (because she isn’t allowed to say ‘love’) a guy. As we grew up, as we started maturing and after facing different dimensions of the world, at 18, we say that it is absolutely right to fall in love and use complex, unexplainable terms like “its magical” and “enchanting reality”. I have seen that reality but I don’t think its enchanting. Why can’t we ever keep things simple? Why should some things always be over rated and exploited over and over again?
Love is a complex word. It means a lot at the same time so little to different set of people. Public display of affection (pda) is also called love by some. Sexual attraction is also called love. Hugging and cuddling is also love. Working in the kitchen for momma is also love. When there can be so many ways to love and express love, why are there the maximum number of issues in the household or between unmarried couples, because of love and only love?
I blame one word, just one word for all this, EXPECTATION. You expect something from your boyfriend and he doesn’t do the same but, does something he would love to do for you. Your mom expects you to come home on time, because of the love she has for you and you turn up late. Your wife cooks for you and expects you to be at home for dinner and you hang out with friends for dinner. Everything is a consequence of expecting. At the same time, not expecting something from him or her, would definitely turn the relationship bland.
I saw one of my friends go through a sloppy valentine’s day this year. She expected her boyfriend to come over and wish her at 12 in the night but he didn’t. I am not going to blame him. He had to attend his late night meeting and called her up at 1.00 am. She did respond and wished him but not whole heartedly. Guys are clever these days, he did notice the grumpy attitude and just gave her time to completely understand the situation in hand. She, did not bother to analyze what he was up to but, kept pondering over her problem and kept her expectations in front of his work and life. He had no other choice but to make her realize. He tried explaining over and over again which did not convince her one bit. He gave her the whole day to think about what she had done to spoil the day for herself. Had she let it go and put her expectations behind for a while, he would have definitely felt guilty for making her stay up and would have made it a point to make it special for her.
Love should be approached with a lot of care, control and hesitation. I say hesitation because, you cannot take your lover or fiancé for granted once you say “I love you” and “I love you too”. It’s not about the rings you exchanged. It’s not about crossing ‘n’ number of ‘bases’( you know what I mean). It’s just beyond all that. The love between a man and a woman is known to be the strongest bond of all forms of love. So, don’t you think you should stop playing around with such powerful emotions?
Express your love to your lover. Do not make it clichéd with a bouquet of flowers or a ring. Write a letter to him, or talk to her for a few minutes into her eyes, make the moment special, let him smile at you with all the love. Let her shed a few drops of tears from her eyes with a bright smile on her face. Keep it cheesy. I know girls love it. I love it too. But, sometimes, emotional talks and sincere touches work way beyond the normal theatre and park romance. And one more humble request, make sure you are there with him/her to see those emotions. They come once and cannot be faked. Do not text your feelings and spoil such pure, truly amazing moments in life. Spend time with your loved one when you feel like it. Do not plan out a schedule for a week and follow that to meet or treat your boyfriend. Take things slow and smooth and the rest will follow when it has to.
Love is that one mystified emotion that has made friends into enemies and turned enemies into friends and also has changed friends to a very cute and nice couple. Love is that one emotion that cannot be expressed without another person to bring it out of you. It need not be a lover. Be it your mom or dad or sister or your brother. It needs that special someone to make you hug them with all the warmth in your heart and shed those happy tears in the airport while waving good bye. Keep it pure. Do not adulterate it. Hang out with girls or boys. Have fun. I am not stopping you. But, when you say you love someone, let it be special. Let it be utterly innocent and perfectly honest and thoroughly sincere.