“You love me. Real or not real?”
I tell him, “Real.” – Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay

Don’t aim at me with leather shoes and stilettoes, I promise I am aware that you have probably endured a million “What men/women say and what they mean” magazine features and I’d rather not give you more of that. But as the saying goes “Actions speak louder than words”, why not read the action than believe the word?


No, by not believing the word I certainly do not assert a lack of trust. Believe me; I am not pursuing majors in divorce law that I’d have you break up. I won’t get any fraction of your alimony too. Infact, this is hardly for the mature couples, if they permit to be called so. You know where most romantic relationships sink? When one has planned the future too well to absorb the present, while the other still dwells in the past.  Centuries and scores of movies later, a novice can deduce that the relationship grows as it takes to silence. Expression of words is but an initial trial to get past insecurities.

So, the next time he says, “We can watch the film tomorrow.” Try and remember if he had a get together planned. Or his favourite football team was playing that day maybe? Instead of a ‘You have changed’, try a “sure, we can go for ice-cream once you are free.” Ladies, stop sulking already. It isn’t without reason you are letting him watch the match. Watching a match sure can’t be that bad, and letting him watch one, definitely not. You may just pamper yourself at a nearby salon, that if you absolutely despise the idea of giving him company for the match. Plus, you stand strong chances of added benefits. “Benefits like?” you ask. Has not the Loyalty card special Sale season made us enquire a lot about added benefits already? Still, Benefits like the next time you tell him about that unbelievable sale at Zara, chances are he won’t frown and most probably hold your shopping bags too (I personally don’t advocate the idea of your guy holding your shopping bags while you move in and out of stores, But, well!) . Remember, all of it because you had been kind to him earlier too. Nothing happens without a reason. Now don’t just blackmail him into going nail lacquer shopping with you just because you were kind to him, be reasonable and enjoy.

Yes, I do realize I have painted an extremely girly (or womanly) image…but then don’t all the magazines you read do that? I have not stressed on the pink obsession yet though, and the mills and boons, and that handbag from Kors’ latest that your friend just bought- which cost her a fortune, or so you say to keep yourself from splurging on it too. Am I being extremely critical to the fairer sex? I am coming to the male fraternity too.

Men, though don’t have an inherent quality of reading between words, are blessed with a slighter bit more patience that helps.  But beyond that, the words you never read were desperately waiting to be entertained. The next time she says, “It wasn’t like this. Things have changed. Is this how it is going to be?” Do not justify your stance. Maybe later, but not then. She sure would be all ears to your reasons once the unrest is pacified. Do not instigate the almost volcanic eruption of her tears and insecurities. If she’s asking what about the future, she is not most interested in how and what would you do to shape your career, she is probably just hesitant in posing the straight question and is indirectly fishing for a clearer picture if your future has her in it. If she is questioning in front of her family though, she sure does not intend to make you disclose your honeymoon plans to her father.

How often have you seen your parents exchange a ‘I Love You’ text? I am sure even rarely is it a ‘Do you love me?’ or a ‘I miss you xoxo’ text minutes after they have been away from each other? You doubt your love is truer? Seriously? Be honest, in most cases you can’t. They’ve gotten over the phase of depending on words for their expression of love. They have compromised on an agreement which silently states that no matter if we express it or not we’ll be for each other till eternity. That is not because they are not trendy enough but because their relationship has transpired beyond the need of words. The first step to that is to treat words on place and not face value. Put together the dictionary meanings of each of the words of any sentence without making grammatical changes. Would it make sense? It’s a funny language, the expression of words more often mean against the literalism of them. Oh yes I know, I want to be in the looking glass world too, where words meant exactly what I wanted them to. Lucky Humpty Dumpty. In the real world though, words mean literally only when actions convey emotions. To read emotions, the print or font matters little, the view point of the reader creates the perspective. Rings the bell? Doesn’t still? 12 year olds don’t fall in love, its time you hurt your knees than hearts.

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