Everybody feels proud and smug when it comes to their choices. We all have a logic and rationale to demonstrate how our choices work for us or are apt or sometimes even the best. Yeah! Most of us feel that our choices are perfect for us and sometimes even for others. Be it the choice of evening attire for a college party or choice of the color of the wall being painted at the home or choice of the film that we want to watch upcoming Friday or flavor of the ice cream we like the most. We all are justified why we like it. We all have our own choices and we feel our choices are a sort of reflection of our personality. Among many things, we choose something specific which we like or to which we relate and that is why we feel that it exhibits a part of ourselves. We choose very carefully and meticulously about everything in our life. Be it a small thing such as dress or a huge decision related to carrier or business.
In life there are certain things that we can’t choose, which are fixed or not in our control. Such as family, parents, the surroundings where we take birth etc. and there are certain things that are in our control or we can choose them. Such as friends, relationships, carrier or any objects.
From the beginning, as we start to grow up, we start to make our choices. We choose our toys, friends, dresses and this choice changes and evolves as we change and evolve with the time. Time flows and we develop as a person, now we choose our carrier, relationships and then more subtle things such as our point of views, our perception etc.
We all know and are aware about the choices that we make outside in our life. Choices related to relationships, business, carrier etc we choose very meticulously. The choices that we make decide the future of our life. We say life is all about choices. First we make our choices and then the choices make us.
Life is full of suspense. Sometimes it feels like a rosy path. We are happy because the situations and circumstances are favorable and comfortable. Everything is perfect so our happiness, state of mind, peace etc are all at their peak but as it changes its color and turns its way then Life doesn’t seem the same. Sometimes it hits us badly. Any worst situation that we have never imagined or something extremely unexpected takes place and all of a sudden everything changes. When such circumstances arrive to us, most of us lose our happiness, state of mind and peace. We weep, cry or fear. The responses to such unexpected situations are almost negative or toxic. We find it natural too that if something is not good outside, how anything can be good inside? How can we be happy inside if situations are not in our favor?
Here we fail to choose the right thoughts and as we fail to choose, we accept the victim feeling easily. We choose many things and everything outside but these subtle responses to every situation which make a huge difference to our life, most of the times we come as either unaware or a failure to choose it.
Life is a chain of situations and every situation demands a response. Without our response, situation is lifeless. It is our response that decides the magnitude of the situation. But most of the time when any situation comes to us, our most of the attention is to grapple and solve the situation. Sometimes we even try to solve and control those situations which are not in our control. We try our best but end up getting nothing. Because we wanted to control a thing, which was never under our control and hence we lose our sight and attention towards our response and it comes automatically from us, which are mainly not so good ones such as anger, fear, insecurity or resistance.
Until now we chose everything outside but we were unaware that we can choose our thoughts too. According to psychology our mind creates 40,000 to 50,000 thoughts in a day. Some are necessary thoughts related to work etc. most of them are either thoughts related to past or waste thoughts and least amount of thoughts is the elevated thoughts.
Spirituality teaches us that we are the creators of our each and every thought. Be it work related thoughts or loving thoughts or really toxic ones. It is we, who create these all thoughts and science has proven that it is our mind that creates the thoughts or responses.
Situations are not in our control for sure. This is what the life is but the responses that we choose for any incident or situation is our creation entirely. We can choose this one too. Now the question is how will it affect our daily life or is useful in our lifestyle.
Let’s take an example, suppose we leave for our office. We reach there and now our state of mind is totally at peace because it is just the start of the day. But as the day progresses, situations unfold and the state of mind changes. We get entangled in our work and suddenly the computer on which we are working shuts down due to some technical reason, our colleges don’t respond to us in a proper manner and they end up messing with us. Our boss thinks we can do better. The whole different series of incidents come to us that keep the power to disturb our mind easily because of its unfavorable nature but here we have to understand that even in these unfavorable situations, there is one thing which is in our control and that is our response. We need to be aware about it and bring it to the practice so that we can choose our thoughts too. Generally in such situations anger, fear, disgust etc responses come out very quickly and naturally because we never work on how to think or respond. Whenever it occurs, talk to yourself and make your mind understand that yes the situation is not favorable but this response is still my choice. Whether to be angry or not, whether to be loud or to remain peaceful and think about the solution is still my choice.
By such practice we change the thought pattern of our mind and hence can remain peaceful and happy even in unfavorable conditions because now we learn that situations don’t create responses. It is we, who create it. We choose our every thoughts and hence responses too. Situations work as stimulant only. They come to us and then we respond. We have various choices to respond. It is not necessary that if someone said something wrong to you and you will have to answer him back in a loud manner, you can choose your response. If you feel like not disturbing yourself and not being loud then you can opt for it. Be silent, he did what he wanted to do, now it is your turn. Choose your response. Deliver your dialogues the way you want to deliver it.
We really need to think on it. As we are so careful about everything that we choose outside, we should be equally careful about our thoughts because these thoughts create our destiny. These thoughts lead us to feelings.
Life will always be a mixture of good and bad situations then why should we make our responses dependent on them. Let’s segregate the responses from situations and remember that in every situation and circumstances we always have an option to choose how to think, feel and respond. It is our choice, totally in our hand.