No Such thing called Selfless Love

I come across all these people who keep saying how madly they are in love with the ‘special one’ that they have in their lives. And I have always wondered what it is like to be in love with someone. But from what I see, there is so much love around in this world; so much that people often take it for granted. I see people from teenagers to elder ones committed to relationships and I often wonder how many of them even really understand what love really is! May be the elder ones are more mature, but one just can’t say whether it’s love or just the longing to have someone to love you. Especially a lot of teenagers these days don’t understand what love is and why they really commit to someone is something to keep wondering about. I am sure love is a beautiful feeling. It makes you feel loved and accepted for who you are and the world around you seems more kind and beautiful. It probably makes you feel better about yourself and you feel that you have finally found someone to share all your life with. People in love say that now it’s easier to go through tough things because someone has got their back; that it’s easier to feel happier and someone is always there to share the sorrow and pain. But I have always wondered why this love for the ‘special one’ is so different from the love for our family, friends and every person that we are close to in our lives. Isn’t love universal; isn’t it same for every human and animal and every other living being on this planet? So why is love exclusively special for ‘the one’ and less special for others in our life? So I tried to figure out why people keep saying that they can give everything that they have for the one they love. Because there are so many people that we love, are we ready to give everything that we have for all of them?

what is love

Some people say that they are selfless when it comes to love; that they don’t have to think twice before they do something for the one that they love. A lot of people say that they can give up everything that they have for their ‘special one’. (I never understood the concept of ‘everything’ here, it’s pretty vague) The one in love often says “I will give up everything that I have only to have you forever in my life” Well, so how selfless is that? You will give away everything that you have. Why? So you can have love in your life. It seems more like a trade to me, a give-and-take deal; a selfish motive of keeping love to yourself by giving up on other things in your life. It’s definitely flattering when someone talks about how much they can sacrifice and compromise for their loved one, but why? So that the person they love doesn’t leave them for any reason at all. It’s like barter system; “I will give sacrifices and in return you have to stay.” Is this selfless love? Also, people won’t make sacrifices for everyone they love in general in their lives. Why? Because they don’t love the others as much as they love the ‘special one’? So how is love fair? How is love equal and selfless? How is love same for everybody when we ourselves classify people into lists to decide who will be loved more and who deserves more of our love? Don’t you think every person you come across in this life deserves your love? I know people will find funny how that sounds. Haven’t you made a poor beggar kid go away when he came asking you for a coin to curb his hunger? Haven’t you ignored a troubled stranger who genuinely and visibly needed some help? Have you loved and treated people around you just like you love your own mother? None of us have ever done these things, we all fail at them. Because our love is selfish; it’s only reserved for the people we ‘choose’ to love. Because this world would be the Eden’s garden if we loved everyone in this world like we love our wonderful mothers. But that paradise was long lost when humans came into being and a perfect paradise like that cannot exist on this planet, because there really isn’t any such thing as ‘selfless love’. There is true love, of course. We indeed truly love our parents, siblings, families, friends and everyone else in our lives. But you are lying when you say you love someone ‘selflessly’. Because you can’t, no one can. You are ready to give away everything for the special one, because you WANT that person to stay, to be with you all along. So don’t think that your love is selfless, because it’s not. Your love is true, and kind and beautiful in every sense, but it can never be selfless. Gone are the days when people would say, “Love is like a bird. Let it fly, do not cage it” Because people now are more insecure and more afraid that once they let their love free, it might never come back. So we keep our love and our special loved on to ourselves, and we are ready to sacrifice for them, so that we can have them forever. Let us all just believe in true love, because selfless love, is a thing of the past.

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