What’s in a relationship without a fight isn’t it? When in a relationship of any kind, fights and disagreement are most common, and a relationship gets stronger when you are free enough to share about each other feelings openly. Nevertheless, there are certain things we need to be careful before what we say or talk. Each relationship is different and kind of fights we have is also varied. The most common fight we hear is between a married couple or a couple in a relationship. So I am concentrating on those killer words or things said in a fight between a couple that can kill the relationships forever.
I’m no Saint and being married, over the years I have also learned a few things, which are totally forbidden to speak or say in a fight. When I say forbidden its not by rule, but simply it means that a few things can kill a relationship making each other be angry for a long time which can also be a trigger for wreckage of a marriage or a relationship.
Agreed, Its no fun if one cannot have once in a while of pulling each other hair furiously and then end up on the couch laughing. A humor filled fight is as much necessary to keep the sparks. However, at times, when the fire of anger and disappointment is aggravated, chances are high to lose our cool and might end up speaking things which we might regret later or might feel it was unnecessary. Remember ‘Once spoken words cannot be taken back’.
“There are two things that cannot be taken back-the sped arrow and the spoken word”
- Jane Casey
So what are those things one need to be careful not to say when angry? Yeah! I’ am getting there to tell you what are those things with a little more of your patience. It is obvious that our mind does not think rationally when we are angry, hence read these things when you are relaxed and make a note of it in your mind forever and practice it every time that your mind should automatically send the information to your tongue not to utter those biter feelings when in a tiff. Practice makes man perfect, so over time it will also help you to develop a healthy attitude towards your partner without any bitter feelings.
I’ am not angry
Oh, yeah! We say that often especially when we are damn angry isn’t it? Even so, careful, do not say it when you are already fighting. Not being clear of your feelings and not being communicative enough can also be a reason for making the other person angrier which can worsen the situation.
You are just like your father or mother
Comparing notes with each other parent is so not allowed because everyone likes to be their own person and most of us do not like to be compared. Moreover, speaking such things when in anger or when you are disliking something means showing a contempt towards the elderly person to whom you compare. So careful, never compare to anyone when in fight and make things worse than already it is.
It’s your fault
An another common practice is playing a blame game. It’s always two hands which make a clap and likewise, a fight never happens with one single person mistake. There is invariably a mistake of both. So blaming it on your partner can only increase the disappointment more.
My mother warned me about us
Parents are usually concerned about us and here and there they might throw few advices to keep us safe. However, that is no reason to bring them in the talk every time you fight and tell your partner and make them feel that they are disliked by your mother. Keep the words told by your parents in mind but always make your own decision and draw your personal conclusions, because you are the only person who knows and understands your partner than anyone else.
Do not mention previous fights
You are here, fighting again aren’t you? It only can mean last fight is all done and you continued and landed up with another disagreement and that is the most common thing in a relationship. We never learn by one fight, but do we have to make a list of all said and done every time? Every simple disagreement has its own story and stick on to only that story. Do not bring any other previous stories and use it against your partner by calling names, or telling you did that and this, then.
Do not be dramatic
we all love a little drama now and then to attract attention. The fight itself is an enough action, why worsen it more with dramatic actions such as crying, and telling offensive things like “you don’t love me anymore” or “you don’t care for me at all.” Do not force your partner to say negative things which he or she might not mean it, regardless could be hurtful later to both.
There is no book of rules as what to say and what not to say or what to do and what not to do. In a relationship, we learn as we go and every couple is different from one another. There is no other person who knows your partner better than you and remember, in a relationship the gain is more in losing.