Is Time On Your Side – Importance of Timing in Relationships

It’s a hot summer day and I just wrapped up watching a Hollywood Rom-Com, the typical one, where despite all obstacles the guy and the girl get together in the end. How very convenient and how very fanciful. It was a short road from there to the realization that real life is hardly ever that easy. Yes you do often come across those stories where things work out perfectly well, even in reality, but more often than not, that isn’t the case. Love is an important part in all our lives, and so are relationships. But in real life, relationships aren’t that simple, they are messy, complicated and there isn’t a promise of a happily ever after.

Sometimes our love stories might have all the elements in it. The perfect guy, the perfect girl, love, understanding, chemistry, but if that one important ingredient is missing, it can blow the whole thing over. And that one tiny detail that decides the fate of millions of hearts is timing. If the timing isn’t right your love story isn’t going to work. In the words of the famous author John Green (Yes from the heart wrenching Fault in Our Stars fame) “What a slut Time is, she screws everyone over” how aptly and simply he magnifies the importance of timing in relationships. It might be hard to believe that for many of your relationships not working out there might have been just this one factor a play. To add to its power the role of Timing can be figured out only in retrospect but by then the damage has already been done.

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I don’t know how better to state the point I’m trying to make than to narrate a story that happened to my friend once, a long time ago. It was high school, when a guy she was friends with fell in love with her. They were very good friends, they understood each other, were comfortable in each other’s presence. The guy madly fell in love with her, in the words of romantics, head over heels in love with her.  But alas, she never saw him as more than just a friend; her eyes didn’t perceive him the way he wanted to be perceived only by her. But that’s not where their story ends, because a year later the girl found herself falling in love with the guy. The more time she spent with him, the more enamored she became by him. Their talks, their walks, those few moments they spent together managed to do their work. And a year later the girl fell head over heels in love with him.

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The premise of their story sounds exactly like a Hollywood Rom-Com, in the movie the happy ending would have been with them ending up together, timing would have worked in their favour. But this was real life and they had no control over time, who is her own entity; because a year had passed by and the guy had fallen in love with someone else. Timing wasn’t on their side, and seeing the couple together the girl held her tongue saying to me, “Guess it’s her time now, guess I missed my chance”

That’s the thing about timing; it can either make your story or break it. You never know which side Time plays on. As for my friend, she never got the guy, because things didn’t work out in her favour and life pulled them in different directions and they are no longer in contact. Though she has moved on in life, the what if’s always plague her and sometimes I catch her pondering over what could have been. Unlike a movie, you can’t write the happy ending for your life story.

Timing always leaves a scar behind, making you realize how much power that one factor has in your life story. We don’t ponder over it or give it much importance until something of significance pulls our attention in that area. But by then who knows, maybe it’s too late to do anything about it.

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But is there anything we can do about it? I guess timing like one of the many fatalistic things in our life like destiny and fate is something we have no control over. But there is one thing which can help us deal with the troublemaker that is timing. And it is seizing every moment. Had my friend seized the moment when time was on her side, her story would have turned out quite different. We never know when timing is at play, and when it’s on our side.  So in such cases you just live life to the fullest, and seize every single moment, as much as you can, and then the moments won’t slip through your fingers. That way you’ll end up making most of even those moments when time is on your side.

Another thing I learnt from this friend of mine is acceptance. Sometimes we have to accept that there are things we have no control over and there will be times when there is nothing we can do to change the past. But once you accept that, you can move on to greener pastures. Who knew that Timing could end up being such an important teacher of life. It teaches you acceptance, it teaches you how to deal with heartbreak, but most importantly it shows you the value of love, making sure you don’t ever take it for granted.

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