One of the most cliched words of any relationship is ‘Trust’. Most beliefs associated with trust fall flat nosed at hands of betrayal. Trust, they say, is to be earned. They say once broken it is lost too. We might love many people but its only a few we trust. One deed gone wrong and all love, trust and respect transpires. How many of us can actually walk closed eyes directed by loved ones? Won’t we all cheat once at least? Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Trust makes the roller coaster ride of life.
Usually in early stages of relationships, we trust each other and love each other but as it progresses and people involved in the relationships do something, which we hadn’t expected or fail to fulfill a promise or betray a confidence then most of us immediately withdraw our trust. We start to doubt them.
When we are in a relationship with anyone, we create images in our mind, even before knowing them completely. We always have images of a perfect friend or a perfect wife, even before the commencement of any relationship and when relationship starts to take shape and grow and if we find anything, which doesn’t match with that picture in our head, then the problem begins and the perception about the other person starts to change.
If we see relationships in a deeper and truer sense then relationship is nothing but the exchange of energy between two people. Both people can have their own complexes and problems in their life, which also decides their behavior in any relationship and we are also familiar with the uncertainty and unpredictability of the behavior of people due to these pressures and circumstances of life. So the need of the hour is to make ourselves understand before going into any relationship that people don’t have the personality that we think and imagine about them. It is only our perception about them. They can respond and behave in different ways in different situations. Every human responses differently and with time evolution takes place and hence to have image about anyone and to hold on to that is really not healthy in relationships. If we succeed to do this, then any changing behavior of people will not cause us disturbance. We should accept the truth that people might behave indifferent and then enter into any relationship. This will give a very strong foundation to any relationship and it will not be based on any fragile trust. By doing this, we will be able to trust people even after many mistakes made by them.
Trust is said to be that quality, which, if given unconditionally can create magic. It has the power to purify the mind of the other person, to whom it is being given.There have been some life incidents, where this magical power of unconditional trust in the goodness of every being has changed the destiny of the relationships.
My sister’s one of the closest friend faced a problem in her marital life. After few months of her marriage, she got to know that her husband is having an affair with someone else. It was really shocking for her. The first day, when she knew this, she was devastated. She tried to cope up with this but was being unable to overcome and finally spoke to her husband. She was badly hurt and felt as if lost everything. Her husband looked at the situation and promised her not to do such things again. She also believed in what her husband assured her. Though she had forgiven him and was living with him but inside somewhere, she had hold doubt and suspicion against him. She was happy outside but in her mind, a lot of doubts used to run at every other step. Whenever her husband used to come late at night or she got his phone busy, she used to doubt. Though she didn’t tell it to him directly but even after forgiving him outwardly and assurance of her husband, she couldn’t overcome her thoughts of doubts and suspicion. This kept on going for several days but one day it came out and she spoke out the suspicion that she used to keep inside for her husband. And at that day, her husband wasn’t wrong and culprit. He had really left that relationship but her saying such things really disturbed her husband. That day their relationship again became complicated. It could have been different but only because she kept on sending him doubtful vibes, the relationship went on the other path.
We think that relationships are outside and what we think about each other really doesn’t matter but truth is that relationships are inside. What we think about each other is the most important and fundamental thing in any relationship. It makes the foundation. It is the energy that binds the two people or makes them distant from each other.
In this case, my sister’s friend could have trusted her husband instead of doubting at him. This could have been a charging energy for him also but she kept on doubting inside and this thought process of doubt and suspicion led their relationship to some other destiny.
There has been one more example, where trusting on someone unconditionally has changed the person. My grandfather told me once about a driver of him. There had been many complaints against him since he had joined to drive for my grandfather. His behavior was also nasty and not so friendly with everyone. He even tried to steal some money. My grandfather trusted him back to back. He knew that people would have their shares of strengths and weaknesses. How many times he would change the driver? Every person would have their own complex traits in the personality. Therefore he trusted him, yes the driver did some not so right things but there came a day, when the trust in the goodness of my grandfather changed him. He was nasty with everyone but with my grandfather, he had developed another equation. He knew that even after committing many wrong deeds, this person’s behavior never changed for him. This continuous trust coming from my grandfather made him feel secured and somewhere it touched him and he left to do all those stuffs that could cause loss or hurt to my grandfather. He became caring and obedient to him. This incident infuses a huge faith in the goodness of every being in me. When we trust someone completely with purity and integrity, then they also fear to break it.
Every human being wants a harmony inside. When the person is internally weak, then only he makes mistakes or betrays someone because at that time he is not connected to his true self. At such critical time our role should be to empower them by trusting on them completely without a single trace of doubt. This is the only way that they will not repeat their mistakes. Because the unconditional trust in their goodness even after so many mistakes will elevate them and empower them. People might make mistakes or do the things their way and not according to us but let’s segregate people from their deeds and have more compatibility, compassion and trust in the goodness of people. The more it will be unconditional and pure, the more it will work.