I’m sure we’ve all had plenty of good and ill experiences with respect to our expectations. I mean I personally feel I always expect something which lies in complete contradiction to the reality or what’s likely to happen. But I think expectations are instinctive more than anything else. When you tell yourself that you aren’t going to win a certain competition even though you know you’ve done well and probably better than the others, then you really aren’t expecting the defeat. It’s not what you tell yourself, it’s what you really feel. We really often lie to ourselves to not be disappointed later especially if our expectations are more hopeful. Obviously, that’s a natural human tendency. We always like to be on the safer side, especially when it comes to our hearts; we’re mostly risk averse. Most of us are not that vocal about our feelings for a good reason, and that reason is disappointment and heartache which for obvious reasons, none of us what to experience or go through.
The deal with expectations is, we could be equally optimistic or cynical about them. There’s no one side that you pick; it’s always a different side with respect to changing times, circumstances or situations. Sometimes you’re actually expecting a very good result and that doesn’t turn out so well for you. And other times, you’re nowhere near hopeful about something and yet life chooses to surprise you. I think people do too. You know once I passed out of school, I had hopes, definitely from my college life, my future, from the rest of my life to come actually. But then mostly, thinking of the immediate future, I had expectations from people. You know there are always certain people you think you’d never lose contact with and you’ll never be any different. While I didn’t have these expectations from a lot of people, I actually had a very high expectation from myself in this particular department because I was always this super social girl who’d make an effort to talk to people, take the initiative, begin conversations, take interest in people’s lives, their dreams etc. I was comprehensively a people’s person, at least that’s what I’d like to believe. And most people I had hoped to keep in touch with actually didn’t disappoint me.
Maybe because I had very minimal expectations and from a select few. But a couple of people really surprised me. One of my friends back then, we were close but like not tied at the hip sorts. We’d have our own set of topics to talk upon and we shared a very different kind of bond, which also developed much later, pretty much towards the end of school. But you know, the way she was, and how cynical she was about people moving on with their lives, I never actually thought that friendship would blossom the way it did. I always thought it would die out a couple of months after we’re settled in college. But surprisingly it didn’t. And believe me, I barely had any role in keeping that friendship alive. I haven’t made much effort in keeping in touch with people ever since school ended because firstly, I personally felt that a lot of obligatory relationships could now be let go of, which was a relief honestly because I am not a person of pretence. And alongside, my college and it’s long hours just added to it all. I used to be pretty worked up all the time, and I preferred talking to people face to face, and I couldn’t find the time to meet them all. We all do really get busy with our lives as we proceed further, but I think somewhere we also develop the maturity to understand and handle these little things. As much as talking occasionally over texts cannot compensate for meeting someone every day, as time passes we grow in that relationship, beyond the superficial hi hellos and meaningless gossip, into a bigger better person with more sense and understanding of people and their situations.
We become more compassionate and I think that kind of settles the whole time constraint issue right at it’s very root. Today the same friend of mine called after about 3 weeks; we usually only indulge in phone conversations because we have too much to say and we constantly need the other person’s response which isn’t possible over texts. And then she told me about her life, and what’s going on with her college, love life, how she’s been trying to deal with her issues, we discussed about how we grew up so much in such little while without so much as a clue; how we developed patience towards people we once couldn’t stand, how we learned to be more cordial and how we learned to let go. This is a very basic crux of what we talk about, the details took up about 2 hours of our time, and it always does. But once I kept the phone down, I felt relieved. Like I had cleared a baggage off me, and I get this feeling every time I talk to her. The girl I didn’t even see in my life so far, and right here she is, making my life a whole lot richer, and making me wiser by the day. So yes, expectations sometimes, really hurt. But life’s full of surprises and so are people, so wait for your surprise, I’m sure it’s somewhere around the corner. And believe me, it’ll make up for a lot of bad’s in your life.