Virtual Relationships & Real Heartbreaks

It breaks me to see scores of preteens falling in love and even more slightly mature adults falling out of it. I have nothing personal against falling in love or out of it, as long as it means even slightly close to the word called love. What is to be blamed? A lot of factors are- being spoilt for choices being one, indecisiveness, impulsive and hasty actions and more than it all the role that Social networking is playing in most of the youth’s life today.

Do you know that most kids aged 13 have a facebook and a twitter account? No, that was not surprising. Do you know that almost half of them have been in real time relationships.  That was not the point either. But do you know that more than 90% of them have had virtual or online relationships, Facebook relationship as they call it. Some have had both, real time and facebook relationship, simultaneously. Is that not a problem? Now you know where most of teenage depression comes from?

Virtual relationships are not impossibility but are far tougher to keep than real ones. Most of you would argue that they are easier to make but do you know they are also easier to break? And Nicholas Sparks said, “I mean, if the relationship can’t survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?” Virtual relationships not only pose the risk of loving someone who might not exist at all and is a mere profile with no truth to them, you are  also risking losing few emotions forever. I am not exaggerating. You will be hurt, you might recover but you will never forget the experience of being in it. Most of the times it is not even love, sometimes friendship, sometimes attraction, sometimes need and sometimes just the thought of having someone to be in a relationship with.

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“You can talk with someone for years, every day, and still, it won’t mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever…. connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”
― C. JoyBell

It is not like virtual relationships do not have strings attached, plainly not as much. And if they do, its either one sided, doesn’t last or is simply not enough. There always is that sense of insecurity of not existing for someone in real. You might form the best of friendships online, only as far as expectations are kept at bay. In romantic relationships, expectations creep in, hurting your existence.

Personally I’ve known people who’ve fallen in true love virtually too. Yes, you read that right- true love- so they state and so it appears. What then is the problem? He loved too much. So? She wasn’t sure if it was love at all, if it was, she wasn’t sure what it was with her previous guy. Friendships suffered, miserable days were faced, chances were given and a heart was broken, maybe two- the other side of the story we never got to know. Because when it went beyond her to handle the circumstances, she went, leaving a mist of vagueness for him to dwell in. He was heartbroken, he needed answers. Nobody supported him the way he needed. Every one criticized the very idea of falling in love with someone you’ve not met. Some doubted her existence, some his identity. Few mocked him for calling it love and a few friends kept making efforts to make him move on. Despite being the villain then they stuck to their advice. He distances himself. He handled himself by buyring it all within. Did that help? In view of people it did. In view of friends it didn’t. He never got over her, just over love. He stopped believing in the institution of love- more so of falling in love again. He will always love her he says, but nobody else, and never the same. People tell him he has changed. He doesn’t tell them he buried himself alive. This was one of the many example. My heart reached out to him. He is a friend, a dear one. There are numerous such examples. There have been cases of fake identities, cyber crime, misuse of personal information, morphing of pictures to name a few post young people getting into virtual relationships.

I am not against strangers, all friends were strangers once. I don’t have anything personal against virtual relationships, but think radically, is it worth all the mental and emotional dilemma and stress you undergo. It is not about believing in a person but a portrayal. It’s like a dream which may or may not be true. You’ll ask if that makes you stop dreaming, so I ask why then a heart break makes life stop. Go ahead with your virtual relationship if you’re handling it maturely, it’s not making you cry and not giving you sleepless nights. I wish you both the best of future. But do you cross your heart and say that it is one of the better things to happen to you?

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